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“Ask a [Smrt] Homeshooler” why everybody doesn’t homeschool?

Posted in Ask a [Smrt] Homeschooler, Homeschoolins by Smrt Mama
Sep 21 2010
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This question wasn’t so much submitted as brought up in general education-related conversation. A single dad friend of mine found himself in the precarious situation of having his living situation shaken up rather suddenly on Friday and having no idea in what school district his child would need to be on a Monday. He dropped me a quick message asking a) how hard it would be to get them registered as homeschoolers, at least for the short term and b) if he was crazy for taking on homeschooling as a work-from-home single dad.

The answer to the second question is that being crazy is one of the most important prerequisites for homeschooling. The answer to the first question was “not that hard, but…” and I offered him a third option, using the free Georgia K12 Cyber Academy (virtual public school, done at home). He looked through the info, we talked about different ways he could go about it, how he could integrate other homeschooling stuff as needed, that there are many resources for homeschoolers locally and online (including resources for his 2e son) and he asked a semi-joking, semi-serious question, which becomes our “Ask a [Smrt] Homeschooler” question of the day, “If it’s this easy to homeschool in Georgia, why doesn’t everybody do it?”

So, why don’t all parents choose to homeschool?

“I don’t want to.” I guess the most obvious answer would be that not everybody wants to. Some people have no desire at all to homeschool their children. They’re perfectly content with the education their children are receiving elsewhere, with knowing their children are in a safe and controlled environment for 8 or so hours a day (handy if both parents work outside the home), and with the current education status quo. They figure if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and if they’re happy, their kids are happy, and the education their children are receiving meet everybody’s basic needs, more power to them. I wouldn’t try to talk happy away-schoolers into homeschooling.

“I work full time.” Parents who work outside the home would definitely have additional difficulties attempting to homeschool. The child care issue is just one part of it. Finding affordable child care for the 8+ hours both parents are working puts homeschooling outside the realm of possibility for many families. Some still find a way to make it work, though. Some parents find ways to move their shifts around, so one parent or the other is home with the children for most of the day. Some manage to telecommute some or all of the time or find work-at-home jobs that allow them to be present in the home during the day. Some parents, the ones who do have someone to watch the kids during the day, homeschool in the hours after work. It’s not impossible, but it’s definitely not easy.

“I wouldn’t do a good job.” Some parents fall into the trap that I was once caught in, of believing that they wouldn’t be capable of homeschooling or couldn’t do it “right.” The idea of homeschooling being like the Highlander (there can be only ONE way to homeschool!) is a little comical now, but was certainly a fear at the beginning. As a prospective homeschooling parent, you worry about a lot of things. Will I cover the right material? Will I cover enough material? Will I be able to teach my child (more on this in a minute)? Will my child be unsocialized (also more on this)? What on earth am I supposed to be doing every day? Luckily, if this is the major stumbling block between you and homeschooling, it’s amazingly easy to overcome it. Start by reading The Well-Trained Mind, because it gives you a handy-dandy outline for what your child should be covering at roughly every grade level. You can tweak the suggestions up or down based on your child(ren)’s abilities. You can talk to other parents about which curricula they use. You can get a homeschool mentor to walk you through her daily, weekly, and yearly schedules. The panic-inducing question of what you’re supposed to cover and when can go piffle out the window with a little research and friendly assistance — so if you’re considering homeschooling, don’t let that fear stop you!

“My child and I wouldn’t be get along.” I also believed, before I became a homeschooler, that there was no way I could handle being with my child all day long, let alone actually manage get along with him well enough to hep him learn anything. We fought so badly about homework every night, how could we possibly do school work all day long together? What I discovered, however, is that this wasn’t at all the case — it’s a much different beast to homeschool than to do homework every night. While we do occasionally butt heads over an assignment, it’s nothing like the constant bickering and nagging and whining that used to be involved with homework. As for being able to stand having my kids home all day, now I couldn’t imagine wanting to send them away five days a week! Homeschooling vastly improved the qualify of my relationship with my older son, but I never would have thought that could be true before I was a homeschooler.

“My child wouldn’t be socialized.” Other parents may have concerns about socialization. They worry that keeping their kids home could hinder them socially, emotionally, or developmentally. There’s a common belief that homeschoolers are unsocialized, simply because they don’t spend all day, every day with children their own age. I’ve found the opposite to be true for many homeschoolers, though. True, it’s not a constant mingling with same-age children, but there’s a lot more interaction with a wide array of ages, people, and situations throughout the day. It also means that the child’s peer group can be much more interest and ability based than age based, so the connection with peers (at co-ops, clubs, or other activities) can run a lot deeper. Homeschoolers may be differently socialized, but different doesn’t mean un. If this is what’s keeping you from homeschooling, put that fear aside.

“I’m not a teacher!” (also known as “I’m not qualified!”) Another concern parents have is that they aren’t qualified to teach their children, because they don’t have teaching degrees or subject-area expertise. Folks, you’ve been teaching your child since s/he was born! You know how your children learn; don’t buy into the propaganda that you suddenly lose that knowledge when math or language arts is involved. You don’t have to have a teaching license to know that your child learns best through reading, that she does really well if she can use manipulatives for math, that he responds great to timed tests. The key is finding curricula that match up with those learning styles (another place where a mentor is helpful) and either finding additional resources (co-ops, tutors, etc.) for the subject areas where you have less knowledge, finding curricula that explains the materials in such a way that you don’t have to have the knowledge yourself, or (and here’s my favorite) learn the subject along with your child! Life of Fred has really helped refresh some of my math skills and our Michael Clay Thompson language arts has brushed up my grammar. No one is more qualified than an involved, dedicated parent.

“I’m not religious/evangelical/a creationist.” I think the idea of homeschooling as being a strictly fundamentalist Christian pursuit is on the way out, but some people still have concerns that there’s no room in homeschooling for secular, evolutionist, etc. families. It’s true that the bulk of homeschooling materials do have a decidedly Christian flavor, but even this is starting to change. Secular or inclusive homeschool groups are cropping up in many parts of the country and many curriculum options are available for nonreligious families. Homeschooling isn’t just for people who don’t want to see evolution or sex ed taught in school. Many people homeschool to give their children better and more expansive education in those areas! Christians and non-Christians alike have found a home in homeschooling, so don’t let your own religious beliefs (or lack thereof) be the reason you don’t homeschool.

Those are some reasons the [Smrt] Homeschoolers can think of that might keep parents from choosing to homeschool. Some are very reasonable and some are based in misconceptions, understandable though they might be. Whether you choose to homeschool exclusively or to send your children to a public, private, or parochial school, however, don’t make that decision based on unfounded concerns, but on the educational choices that are best for your children.

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Tagged as: Ask a [Smrt] Homeschooler, christian homeschooling, private school, public school, reasons not to homeschool, reasons to homeschool, why don't people homeschool?

“Ask a [Smrt] Homeschooler” if I’d do it all over again

Posted in Ask a [Smrt] Homeschooler, Homeschoolins by Smrt Mama
Dec 01 2009
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Emily at Learning Vicariously asks, “If you could go back in time, would you have homeschooled Captain Science all along, or were you happy with his early education before last year’s teacher? What made you decide to put The Tank in a traditional preschool? What are your plans for him and Babypie in the coming years?”

I’m not really much of a “go back and changes things” person in general. The end is almost always a result of the process. I never would have come to homeschooling as a first choice — I had to get there by seeing how nothing else was right for Captain Science.

We learned a lot from the different schooling methods. I regret a great deal about those years, too, especially not pulling the Captain out of his Montessori school when we first suspected the bullying problem (the bullies in question was the teacher’s daughter and her best friend, the daughter of another teacher in the school) or insisting that he be moved to a different class in public school when we realized the ongoing issues with the teacher were so extreme. I’m unhappy with Montessori and public schooling, both as they apply to Captain Science and systemically. Having something to which I can compare homeschooling, however, is a good thing. Having Captain Science’s attitude, demeanor, and willingness to work to compare to how he was in other schools means I can appreciate just how good homeschooling is for him. Seeing what methods don’t work for him gives me a better idea of what we should try as an alternative.

We opted to put the Tank in a traditional private school setting for a few reasons. For starters, the little Methodist preschool is the same place where Captain Science went for two years, and he loved it there. The teachers are sweet, it’s low on the God stuff for a church school, it’s close by, and relatively inexpensive. Because this was our first year homeschooling, I thought it would be best for Captain Science if we could focus as much attention on him and his education as possible. I had no idea how this was going to work! I had no idea to what degree we’d struggle, how much time it would take, or anything like that. Having the Tank out of the way for a few hours, three days a week means I can put a lot more energy into school for Captain Science on those days.

I also did worry a little about the socialization issue. The Tank isn’t old enough for classes at the co-op, so he spends a lot of that time playing with the babies and younger toddler. While many of my friends have children Captain Science’s age, their other children are mostly older or younger than the Tank. He’d never spent any significant amount of time away from me. I wanted him to have an opportunity to play with other children in a safe environment for a short period of time — preschool seemed like an ideal place for that. Plus, he had been begging me to go to school since he was old enough to realize Captain Science was going somewhere, and despite the Captain being home now, the Tank still wanted to go. He enjoys it immensely and I view it as a regular playdate much more than I do “school.”

Next year is still up in the air for the Tank. I know I’ll homeschool from kindergarten onward, but whether or not we re-enroll him for another year of pre-K is yet to be seen. I know he’ll want to go, but I’m not sure I’ll want him to. The back and forth to the preschool is disruptive and inconvenient, so if I can find a better outlet for the Tank’s (considerably higher than Captain Science’s) social needs, we may not go back next year. As for what we’ll do with Babypie, that’s still so far in the future at this point that I don’t even want to think about it! There are several other baby girls her age in our homeschool circle, which gives her more of a ready-made friends than the Tank had available. With her being my (potentially) last baby, I might also be too clingy to send her off anywhere. Yes, I admit it! I might be a bit overprotective of my baby.

All in all, I’m happy with the choices we have made for this year, but I wouldn’t rearrange our past in hopes of getting this experience sooner. It’s homeschool-by-comparison that allows us all to truly appreciate what a gift we have been given.

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Tagged as: Ask a [Smrt] Homeschooler, changing the past, homeschooling, private school, public school, school choices, secular homeschool
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