When one is a liberal, secular, rigorous home educator with the inability to control one’s virtual mouth, I suppose the potential for controversy runs pretty high. I’ve never been a punch-puller or an eggshell-walker. That’s part of what makes me a great advocate and activist in several non-homeschooling areas (which I generally opt not to blog about here, though I might some day, especially if someone were to express any interest). It also makes me a great target for those who don’t cotton to any form of criticism.
I’m perfectly fine with being called judgmental, because I don’t find judgment to be a bad thing to exercise. There’s nothing wrong with setting reasonable standards of behavior, based on your experiences and ethics/morality, for the people you allow into your life. I will most certainly judge someone based on their words, actions, and/or choices. I don’t have a high tolerance for certain types of jackassery or tomfoolery, but I also don’t expect a high degree of tolerance from others. If my own brands of jackassery and tomfoolery offend you, feel free to judge.
I will not tiptoe around certain subjects, simply because someone’s feelings might be hurt when I knock their choices — choices being the key word here. Once you make the choice to think or act in a certain way, you need to be ready to stand for those choices. Own them. That means owning the fact that not everyone will approve of those choices, and developing coping mechanisms for that disapproval. “Bad choices” vs. “good choices” may be subjective, but when we make our choices public, we are willingly subjecting them to the praise or criticism of others.
I am comfortable with my own concepts of “good” and “bad” choices. I don’t expect yours to be the same, nor do I expect to change your mind or anyone else’s, but I’m not going to dance around a subject out of fear that your morals and ethics aren’t like mine. As such, I have no problem writing or reading controversial posts about:
Philosophies or ideologies
Schooling methods
Parenting choices
Family dynamics (such as valuing sons over daughters)
Religious beliefs and practices, or lack thereof
Public behavior (like making a fool of yourself at a peewee football game)
In all these areas, you have a choice. If I think that choice is dumb, I’ll probably say something (though I’m most likely going to say it here, not on your blog, because I don’t like kicking up a fuss in someone else’s yard). You have ultimate control over those areas. You can change any one of them. Because it’s something over which you have power, and because it’s something you choose to make public, it’s something I feel is within the purview of public criticism. I don’t expect any different from you, however, and I won’t get my pretty plus-sized panties in a wad because you criticize me in those areas. Perhaps you have more grace that I or you ascribe to the notion of never judging anyone, ever, no matter how off the charts their actions may be, mote/beam and all that. If you don’t have something nice to say, however, you’re still perfectly welcome to come sit by me.
I’m not going to write (or speak) negatively about someone on the basis of their race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, abilities/disabilities, physical features (including height and weight), sex, gender, sexual orientation, or any other aspect intrinsic to their being. I believe humans inherently have worth, regardless of what they look like, their roots, or who they love. I won’t tolerate sexist, racist, homophobic, or other bigoted comments*. You’re spared those particular offenses on this blog and I won’t participate in a discussion where that kind of language is bandied about. I won’t waste my time on a bigot.
It’s also worth noting that when I write with “flowery prose and glittering generalities”** about systems and methods and organizations, I am aware there are real, individual people within those, with many individual merits, to whom those generalities don’t apply. I am able to think the idea of young earth creationism is rather ludicrous, while simultaneously having great respect for the intelligence and humor of an individual who believes in a young earth. I can think unschooling is a flawed educational philosophy overall, while acknowledging the well-brought-up and well-educated children that resulted from a particular unschooler’s implementation of that philosophy.
Most importantly, I know I am as absurd as any of you, probably more so. The very basis of this blog was to lay bare my own inadequacies as a homeschooler, mother, and person for the sake of personal introspection, community dialog, or a good old fashioned point and laugh. I am an innately flawed individual, inviting critique and even criticism through my decision to blog about my thoughts and experiences. I won’t cry, stomp my feet, throw a hissy, delete your comments, or come throw stones at you in your own blog if I don’t like what you have to say about me. If someone’s laughing at me, I’m probably laughing at me longer and louder. I don’t dish what I can’t take. I don’t dish what I don’t dish at myself.
Them there’s the ground rules, folks, straight up and on the level. I’ve never been particularly good at subtlety. I am what I am, like it or lump it. If you find yourself offended, just move right along, because this isn’t the blog for you. If you find yourself wanting to take me to task, however, step on up to the plate. You throw it and I’ll swing at it, and we’ll let the other readers decide whether I hit, miss, or foul out.
*To be perfectly honest, I will put up with a teensy tad of Yankee-bashing, but only because the victor writes the history and they’ve had a good 100+ years of Southern-bashing and making fun of my accent to build up a little karma.
**As my AP US History teachers use to accuse us of slipping into our papers.
