I think we all get this question at some point, as in “Are you qualified to teach your child(ren)?” Variants include, “Are you a teacher?” “Do you have a degree in [subject area]?” and “Will you be able to teach your child(ren) [some higher level subject]?”
These questions are irksome, even insulting, to many of us who choose to homeschool our children. We resist the implications that we leaped into this blindly, that we are in some way ignorant or uneducated, that we are incapable of imparting knowledge to our children, that education must only be done by a trained professional, that we will some how mess up our kids by our horrible lack of knowledge and skills, that we must have highest-level subject knowledge to teach subject basics, that we are incapable of learning more ourselves, that we are unwilling to seek out better resources, that we are unwilling to seek assistance from those with more subject knowledge, or any of the other things people might mean when they ask those questions. Even if the intent behind the questions is not malicious, the premise of the questions is inappropriately boundary-crossing. It really isn’t someone else’s place to question my “qualifications” to teach my child. If you want to know what I’m teaching, why I’m teaching it, and/or how I’m doing it, please ask me, but to interrogate me on whether or not I should be doing it (especially if it’s clear you already think the answer to that is “no”) is rude and intrusive.
Someone should be asking homeschoolers those questions, however, and it’s not our neighbors, our family members, our friends, government officials, the local school board, or random people we meet at the YMCA or in line at the grocery store. It’s not even other homeschoolers who should be asking each other these questions. We need to be asking ourselves if we’re qualified. It’s not up to someone else to determine whether or not you should be educating your children, but if you don’t have the emotional and intellectual honesty to question whether you really know what you need to know to impart education unto your child, have the resources you need to have, have an understanding of what your children need to learn, then perhaps you need to stop and take a good, hard look at the long-term ramifications of what you’re teaching your child.
Not every child has the same overall educational needs. One of the many glories of homeschooling is being able to customize an education to your child’s specific needs. There are areas, however, where all children need to learn the same set of skills, though how you teach those skills can be customized to suit learning styles and the speed at which a child grasps concepts. Every child needs to know how to read. Every child needs to know how to write (not meaning print or cursive, but how to put words together into a coherent paragraph). Every child needs to know mathematics. Every child should know proper grammar. Every child should know basics of science, including how their bodily systems work. Some children learn best through hands-on materials, others through lecture/narration, others through reading, but every child needs these skills as the groundwork for becoming an intelligent and educated adult. What you (and they) choose to lay on top of that groundwork will vary, but that foundation shouldn’t.
When Captain Science was in public school, I often had a bitter laugh at the grammatical and spelling errors in notes from his teacher, as she routinely marked his papers off (even in non-language arts assignments) for those same issues. By about halfway through the year, I started correcting her notes with copyediting marks and returning them to her. I’d say this didn’t endear me to her, but we were already on her list of least-favorite families, after daring to disagree with her assessment of Captain Science and disagree with her teaching methods, so I could at least hold her accountable to the same rules she applied to her students. Now that I am my son’s teacher, those same rules apply to me. I can’t very well criticize improper use of grammar and punctuation in my son’s work if I don’t demonstrate it in mine. In informal writing, I take a lot of leeway, but in formal writing, I do my best to be grammatically correct. At age 30, I have no excuse for “there/their/they’re” mistakes, for confusing “loose” and “lose,” for not knowing the subjunctive and using “was” where “were” is required. If I didn’t know the difference, I’d have an obligation to myself and to my children to learn. Even the best grammar curriculum won’t help if what I’m modeling day after day is incorrect.
What are you modeling for your children? Are you demonstrating poor grammar? Do you consistently show a dislike for math or history? Are you skipping over a subject because you don’t understand it or care for it? You can be qualified to guide your child through all the subjects, but not if you can’t even be bothered to guide yourself through them. Before jumping to the defensive when someone questions your credentials or qualification, do a quick gut check. Are you uncomfortable because a boundary has been crossed and because the question is rude, nosy, or inappropriate? Or are you uncomfortable because you know (or suspect) you have a weakness in certain academic areas?
The great news is, if a certain area isn’t your strength, you can do the thing that all homeschoolers should do, and model lifelong learning by educating yourself in that area. You can seek out those who are experts in the field. You can find great resources to help you and your children master that subject. You can find ways to rekindle your own passion for learning, thereby igniting that same passion in your children.
And if it does turn out that the only issue is nosy people getting all up in your business, you can model another important life skill, the polite dismissal of unwanted opinions: “I appreciate your well-intentioned concern, but I am the person most qualified to raise and educate my children.”
