Smrt Lernins

We’ve been working our way through ancient history this year, as I think the idea of doing history in order on a four-year(-ish) cycle, as presented in The Well-Trained Mind, is a great one. As Captain Science has shown a great deal of interest in the mythology and dieties of these early cultures, I decided it would be fun to make a large project out of it, something to tie together the whole year. After all, the way a culture worships and the things they believe says a lot about that culture [moment for pointed silence whilst my readers consider what much of the beliefs and worship in our culture says about us -- hint: it ain't particularly flattering, from this secular homeschooler's perspective].

The idea for the Pantheon Project sprang from “oh crap, you mean we’ve finished Egypt and I haven’t quite gotten all my Greek materials yet? Uh…research the Egyptian gods this week!” Captain Science loved it! He read about the gods and wrote paragraphs about each of the ones he considered most important to the pantheon. He seemed so enthusiastic about the topic that I had him do the same for Greece and Rome. I started calling it the Pantheon Project and developing some longer-term goals with it.

As we move forward with ancient cultures of Asian, Africa, and the Americas, Captain Science will continue to compile information on the deities and religious practices. At the end of our school year, we’ll use all of this data to do a large comparative religions project, integrating art and writing into a giant Cage Match of the Gods card game.

No, really.

The thing Captain Science loves even more than weird ancient religions is inventing/designing card games with Officer Daddyman. What could possibly make a more awesome subject for a battle-style card game than various gods with strange powers and bizarre requirements for worship? Move over, Pokemon, because Poseidon, Osiris, and Kwan Yin are entering the arena! Instead of energy cards, I forsee cards like “burnt offering.” Instead of trainers, maybe priests and priestesses? The actual designing of the cards will likely take place over the summer. Captain Science and I will work on the information (review-style) and then I’ll turn it over to Officer Daddyman for game design. Should be fun times.

I wonder if any other homeschoolers would be interested in snagging a copy of this irreverent battle royale?

Google maps now lets you take a virtual walk through Stonehenge. Since tourists aren’t allowed to wander through the stones currently, this is a fun alternative way to get a close-up look at these stones.

Officer Daddyman is in police training all week and sleeping down at the training center (it’s about two hours from here), so I’m flying solo with the three kids. Not only that, but my first line of defense, Nana and Papa, are on a much-deserved anniversary trip to the beach. It’s my first week alone with the kids since we’ve started homeschooling, so I’m a little nervous!

The first day has gone smoothly thus far, with a little hangup over Captain Science’s use of the word “scandal” in his history assignment — the rule is “don’t use a word if you don’t know the meaning,” and he didn’t know the meaning. Even after looking up the definition, he didn’t understand what the big deal was about Julius Caesar’s “adulterous relationships with married women” — and I did not enlighten him! Roman history is colorful, to say the least. I’m hiding A Day in the Life of Ancient Rome from his, as I don’t want to explain about some of the methods of execution. Being, ehem, loved to death by a bull to recreate the conception of the minotaur before a live studio audience? I’ll skip that lesson and the subsequent therapy bills.

I managed to successfully get everyone schooled, run my errands, and am now trying to decide what to feed them, before heading over to feed Nana and Papa’s cats (and possibly hitting Target for an additional stocking hanger for our mantel — five people, five stockings, but only four hangers currently, you see). I’m trying not to feel too down about Daddyman being gone all week, our undecorated half-lit tree (stupid pre-lit trees with stupid shorts in their stupid wires), and the fact that there’s still so much work to be done on the house before the holidays and our post-holidays guests. Oy! Humbug.

I’m getting a little worried about splitting Rome in half with the holidays like we’ll be doing. Will Captain Science retain everything over a two week break? Will he retain anything? Will we have to redo what we’ve done? Maybe I should make some trivia cards and pretend it’s a game, but really it’ll be homeschooling. Like that cookbook where they hide the vegetables in the cupcakes so kids don’t know you’re feeding them something other than white flour and sugar. And seriously, what kind of dumb idea is that cookbook, anyway?

Digression, for the win. It’s only Monday, and already I’m cracking up!

I am developing a game plan for the week, and that game plan is “keep them as busy as possible.” We’re going to run errands, go to meetings, do anything we can to stay active. We are going to be on-the-go-schoolers this week, because I cannot be cooped up in this house with our snaggledy-lighted naked tree like some sort of shut-in, just because it’s too damn cold for the kids to go outside barefoot (which, yes, they whine about). I have outlawed whining this week and declared that any “didn’t get my way” crying fits will result in laps run or times out, depending on the age of the child (Babypie excluded). I shall broker no crap this week, thank you ever so much.

Off to stuff the children full of some semblance of dinner before Babypie’s nap is over, then loading them all run them around to sleep. At least tomorrow is the La Leche League meeting, so I don’t have to concoct any entertainment (or lunch). Maybe I’ll make Captain Science sit in, take notes, and call it a science lesson. Maybe I’ll just trot my children out as an example of either evidence of breastfeeding’s link to increased intelligence or a warning of how extended breastfeeding and babywearing can turn into a scary snowball, rolling downhill into full-blown homeschooling hippie crunchiness. We shall see.