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A Comedy of Search Engines

Posted in Blogging About Blogging, Earnest Mom is Earnest, Funny Lernins, Homeschoolins, Maybe don't let your kids read this, homeschoolin: ur doin it wrong by Smrt Mama
Apr 12 2010
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I’m sometimes amused by some of the ways in which people stumble across my blog. I use Google Analytics to track my site statistics, so I get a nice breakdown of search terms used to find my site. While I’m usually glad to grab a new reader, I’m not sure I’m really the site that some of these people are searching for in their great Googling adventures.

The search terms may be completely straightforward:

smrt lernins
smrt lernins blog
smrt mama
smrt learnings
patchfire eclectic girl
(who was looking for you and got me instead, Patchfire?)

Sometimes the search terms are curricula-centered:

mct grammar
can abeka be secular?
building poems m clay
ellen mchenry “the brain” homeschool
compare just write and writing strands
life of fred math overly christian
jesus in math class/jesus mathematics/jesus math/bible verses on mathematics
(four separate searches)

Sometimes, the searcher clearly has…let’s just call them “strong feelings” on certain topics:

unschooling failure (well, yes, I do give some examples of that here)
are there unschoolers that are not hippies (yes, but the other unschoolers killed and ate them)
being unschooled did not prepare me (Am I the only one who is terribly curious for what this searcher was unprepared?)
are home schooled children to sheltered (My answer: No, but they are able to distinguish between “to” and “too”)
homeschooler sheltered (also “sheltered homeschooler”)
pitfalls of unschooling (better than “pit traps of unschooling”)
unschooling idiocy (this works on a few levels, so please feel free to insert your own joke here)

And finally, the downright bizarre:

“a lot of pee” (their quotes!)
captain underpants valuable lessons learned (lesson learned: Don’t read Captain Underpants)
lern sex (No! Learn spelling!)
distilling urine (Ok, fair enough. I do have a post tagged with this)
etymology of sexy (I’m pretty sure it derives from the word “sex”)
in the event of this tough situation (break glass, remove homeschooler)
seculat thrusday (yes, I know this is just a matter of typos, but what a glorious combination of typos!)
why is math hard for pretty girls (because God doesn’t give with both hands)

Then there’s the one search that really tugs at my heart strings, because I could have been the one who searched for it about a year ago:

homeschooling parents who feel panic and anxiety (You aren’t the only one out there! I’m here! You aren’t alone!)

If you found my site through a search engine, how did you get here? If you were searching for my site, what do you think you’d search for?

14 Comments »
Tagged as: blogging, distilling your own pee, homeschooling, read the comments, search engines, why do my armpits hurt?

An actual IM conversation wherein I talk about pee

Posted in Funny Lernins, Maybe don't let your kids read this, Smrt Mama by Smrt Mama
Jan 06 2010
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Heather: can we move from “radical unschooling” to “radical XTREME unschooling” like Dew the Dew?
Smrt Mama: hahha
Heather: duuude
Smrt Mama: I’m tweeting this
Heather: :)
Smrt Mama: There, tweeted
Heather: I’m infamous!
Smrt Mama: indeed
the infamous heather
Heather: also known as the fabulous heather
Smrt Mama: Yes.
infamously fabulous
fabulously infamous
I have sugar cookie scented bath salts
Heather: omg
Smrt Mama: and I’ve peed out three pounds this week
THREE POUNDS OF PEE, Heather
that’s, like, a lot of pee
Smrt Mama: um
did you collect it all so you could measure it?
Smrt Mama: no
Heather: or could some if it actually be weight loss?
Smrt Mama: but I weigh 3 pounds less today than I did on Monday
Heather: because i was worried you were getting all Howard Hughes on me
Smrt Mama: I do have a urine collecting jug
Heather: Embrace your first week
Smrt Mama: but not to actually use
Heather: DUDE
TMI
Smrt Mama: the OB gave it to me
I kept it, because hey, it might be useful
Heather: Okay
Smrt Mama: it wasn’t ever USED
Heather: I thought it was some weird homeschooling thing
Smrt Mama: I just threaten people with it
Heather: “Oh, hai! Let’s collect urine and distill it!”
Smrt Mama: I’m blogging this
Heather: Ever since I heard about mummifying a chicken, there are no limits…
Smrt Mama: Stop being funny. You’re making me have to copy and paste more.
Heather: Heehee!

After this conversation, I Google “things you can make from your own pee,” but nothing helpful came up. I stopped Googling before it became a thing.

3 Comments »
Tagged as: distilling your own pee, Heather is infamously fabulous, mummifying a chicken, radical XTREME unschooling, Smrt Mama needs to step away from the Google, you can't make this stuff up

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