Cold oatmeal.
No two words can better sum up the course of my morning than these.
Have you ever had one of those mornings where you’ve realized by 10am that you should have kept on sleeping and just left the children to fend for themselves, because they’d probably learn more and wreck less than they did after you emerged from your bedroom and into the chaos that is your house? No? So it is just me?
You’re a terrible audience, Smrt Readers. I need a little more moral support than that!
Let me tell you about my morning, then, and see if you’ve ever had these experiences. I was up at 8:30, changed and dressed the baby, dressed myself, and folded a load of laundry. Officer Daddyman works a part-time once a week, and this week it fell on Friday, the same day I agreed to do some preschooling with Tank’s good friend, Dimhibbins. This already spells a busy day and I woke up dragging. The goal on these bleary-eyed mornings is simply to fix a pot of coffee and get everyone going on their daily activities as quickly as possible. Of course, no such thing happened today.
Captain Science has two morning chores: make his bed and attend to any dishes (empty the dishwasher if it was run, load if there’s anything in the sink). He had done neither by 8:30. I set him to work on that, took the dog for a walk, and all seemed well-ish. When I came back in, however, all heck broke loose. Dishes were not done, people were still running around half-clothed, and even though Tank typically pours himself a bowl of cereal, only oatmeal would do today. He started whining and yelling about oatmeal, while I discovered that someone had once again tee-teed all over the bathroom. Scrubbing toilets while Tank shrieks “I want OATMEEEEEEEEAL!” Joy.
I put the kettle on to boil, fixed Tank his oatmeal, poured water into my oatmeal bowl, hurried Captain Science along in his dish doing (it’s 9:15 at this point, so 15 minutes past our normal school day starting time), and went up to finish the bathroom. I came down to find my oatmeal stone cold, so I added a little more hot water. Tank then offered to help me feed the dog.
Badge the beagle was just diagnosed with colitis (because we can’t just have a normal dog), so he gets a special diet of steamed chicken and rice right now. Tank was being a big boy, carrying the bowl of rice and chicken, and tripped over the baby gate…spilling white rice and chicken across the entire school room. Badge started dancing around, eating frantically off the carpet, while I tried to get the rice cleaned off the desk. After Badge at what he wanted, I had to vacuum up the rest of the rice. Badge hates the vacuum, so the whole while, he barked, whined, and bit the vacuum. Fun times, noodle salad.
I got everything cleaned up and finished just in time for Dimhibbins to arrive…and for me to eat a quick bowl of (once again) stone cold oatmeal. Captain Science didn’t start school until 10, a full hour after his normal start time. Le sigh.
My morning tastes of defeat, frustration, and ice cold slop.
