Tank has never been happy with his middle name. When he was very little, he said his middle name was Bruce (Officer Daddyman’s middle name, after his father). It’s not Bruce at all; it’s actually Ryals, my grandmother’s maiden name.
A few months ago, Tank decided that his middle name needed to change. I’m perfectly willing to go along with a temporary name change and even told him he could change it to whatever he felt was the right name for him as soon as he turned 18; I’d support him completely. Given the complete freedom to name himself anything he wanted, he spent a few minutes thinking hard and mulling some ideas over aloud, before his eyes lit on Captain Science’s t-shirt (black with a white guitar with bat wings). “My new middle name is Bat-guitar!”
We discussed the appropriate spelling. He can’t read yet, but he could weigh in on whether it was one word, two words, or hyphenated (he chose the hyphen). I agreed to call him Tank Bat-guitar McLernins as long as that’s what he wanted to be called. I even changed it on his Facebook page, because, yes, my kids have Facebook. They enjoy Pet Society. Shyuddup.
Today, Tank announced that he no longer wanted to be Bat-guitar. Instead, he wanted his middle name to be Charm Bracelet. A few minutes later, he decided it should just be Charm. A few minutes after that, he decided it should be Charmander.
Charmander, I choose you!
A little while after that, he asked if I knew who Mace Windu is, because Mace Windu is a great name. “I think my middle name will be Mace Windu, only without the Mace. So just Windu.” When Captain Science urge him to keep Bat-guitar, tank said, “I’ll go back to Bat-guitar next summer.”
He’s stuck with Windu all day, so there you have it, folks: Tank Windu McLernins.
I still prefer Bat-guitar, myself, but it’s not my name, after all.
