In the expanding files of “stuff I learned on the WTM forums,” today I have learned that eight is too young an age at which to expect a child to work independently.
Not “work independently on all subjects, all day, but to work independently at all, according to some forum members. Expecting an 8-year-old to work alone is apparently an unreasonable expectation. One woman said her 8 year old needed her mother to sit with her for her entire day of work in order to get things done. Another said her 9 year old had a similar need for constant supervision. To the best of my understanding, both children are typically developing and working on an age-appropriate level.
Is it really unreasonable to expect a child of 8-9 to be able to work independently for most, or even part, of the day?
Captain Science, who is now 9 and was 8 when we started homeschooling, definitely has days when he needs frequent check-ins (or frequent “Hey, do your work!”s) to stay on task. He’s a bit of a daydreamer and a confirmed procrastinator, and his mind wanders to bigger, better things. Most days, however, he’s pretty motivated to move through his work, and a simple “have you finished your…” is all it takes to get him going again. Rare is the day that I have to glue myself to his side in order to keep him working or answer a ton of questions for him. If I had to do that, I’d seriously start reevaluating if what we were doing was working.
If it were a matter of constantly having to answer questions, I’d look at whether the materials were above his level, presented in a suboptimal way for his learning style, or poorly written/organized/designed.
If it were a matter of having to babysit him, I’d look at the reasons he needed to be micromanaged — difficulty in staying on track? distracting environment? learned helplessness/realizing it’s easier to whine to me for answers? some issue on my part, like an inability to trust him to manage his time?
If it were a matter of my child needed me right by his side emotionally, I’d look into the roots of that insecurity and constant need for reassurance. We’d work on ways for him to become a little more emotionally independent. We’d look into possible fears or worries that were resulting in that great a need for assistance.
I would not just assume it’s normal for a child of that age to need constant attention and management, every single day, to get through his school work. Surely I am not the only person who thinks it’s a little wacky to think a typically-developing 8-9 year old needs that much hand-holding. I know, I know, every kid is different, but if your kid (again, typically developing, no mental/developmental/emotional issues) can’t get through any work without extra help or without a mom-parrot sitting on her shoulder, that might be a sign for a little deeper delving.
