Smrt Lernins

Captain Science had a great week. Thank goodness, because I was fixin’ to put him out in the yard in a box labeled “free kittens (large).”

He finally, finally passed the Life of Fred: Decimals and Percents bridge to chapter 20 (we won’t even talk about how many tries that took) and then zoomed through chapters 20-24. Even though chapter 24’s work was as long as a bridge and over new concepts, he finished it quickly and completely correct!

Caesar’s English I is also going swimmingly. After finishing the second chapter last week, Captain Science reviewed the materials and then took the cumulative quiz over the materials . 100% — surprising, as he took it in a noisy coffee shop while I was attending a baby-wearing meeting. He’s such a little peach sometimes that it makes those bad weeks much more bearable.

He has also officially completed Grammar Town, though I have to say, bless his heart, we’re having to go back and do review over a few concepts. He missed 10 of the 25 questions of the post-test, due mainly to zooming through without paying attention. He can identify all the relevant parts of speech, phrases, etc. in a sentence, write an example sentence using the required sentences parts, but totally bombed the multiple choice?   Yeah, I’m going to call that an effort issue, not a retention issue. It was hard to keep him focused through his work on Practice Town today, as it has started snowing to beat the band, a rare treat in Georgia. We went through a little review of direct object vs. indirect object vs. subject complement, then he broke down a few example sentences for me (all correct), before I booted him out into the snow, where he is currently leaving giant footprints all over the formerly pristine snowy driveway.

Our mini-co-op is going swimmingly. We added new students to Daddyman’s game class this week and two of the new students (some of my favorites from my writing class last semester) stayed to do Patchfire’s class on the brain and my writing class. We now have an age spread from 9-12 (maybe almost 13?) and an additional girl, which is nice for balance. They came up with their board game ideas, looked at slides of the brain online, and worked on the main conflict from their stories. The dynamic is just perfect now, as the oldest student is genuinely admired and respected by the younger kids, which lets him act as a leader and keep them on track. Love these kids, seriously. Such a wonderful group, every single one of them, from our morning gamers to our afternoon writers.

Science in general is moving in a fun direction. Captain Science’s Thames and Kosmos Physics Workshop came, so he and EG spent Thursday building various machines to test force and weight. Patchfire et al. have prior commitments on Tues/Thurs of next week, so I’ll be managing the brain class and having Cpt. Science catch up on a couple of experiments from the phsyics kit next week — something to do with dropping potatoes and making a sail car? Or maybe sailing a potato car?

The Tank surprised me this week with his ability to write his name, which isn’t exactly short or easy (and we’ve had some arguments over the inclusion of the letter “v” on a few occasions). He wrote it on 10 valentines for his classmates and teachers, with no help and only one or two gentle reminders that his name doesn’t start with “O.” He missed class on Wednesday due to a mild fever the night before (24 hour fever policy? — homeschool doesn’t have that), and when I walked him in, all the little boys in his completely-male (by lack of girl enrollment, not by sex-segregating design) class were sitting at their desks with giant globs of pink play-dough (made by yours truly) and hollered, “You’re here!” His teacher also gave him a huge hug and said, “I’m so glad you made it today!” Queue moderate guilt over not re-enrolling.

Babypie’s newest skill this week is incessant chattering. She talks almost constantly in nonsensical syllables that perfectly mimic the tone and form of our speech.

I stayed busy with both a La Leche League meeting and a baby-wearing social, plus the co-op and science at Patchfire’s. I’ve been under the weather and am dragging, so I’m amazed our week has been this productive. I just want to drink coffee and snuggle under a blanket all day, but that’s not a good way to get homeschooling accomplished, sadly.

It’s currently snowing all fluffy and Yankee-like out there, so I’m going to take some pictures and document this magnificent snowfall. I’m sure I’ve forgotten stuff from the week, but such is the nature of things.

Lisa M. asks, “How much ‘outside’ schooling do you do? I mean classes or subjects that you do not teach yourself and either have someone else teach or pay for at a local facility.

Have I mentioned my undying love for Patchfire? Apart from having a wo-mance with her (which is like a bromance, only for women), I also share a little mini co-op with this delightfully intelligent woman of many talents. Twice a week, we get together so that she can teach science to our oldest children. On Tuesdays, Patchfire and her brood come over here for Captain Science and Eclectic Girl to delve into a wonderful course in the human brain, taught by Patchfire (about an hour of work). After that, I spend the next hour working with them on creative writing, while Patchfire entertains the smaller kids. Our current topic is writing short stories, which both kids seem to be taking to quite well.

On Thursdays, we zip over to her house after dropping off the Tank. There, the kids work on physics units, covering a wide array of topics, such as sound, color and light, water and heat, electricity, magnetism, etc. We’re usually there from around 9:30 to 12, plenty of time to finish all the experiments and even have a little play time.

Captain Science is also receiving piano lessons twice weekly from my great-aunt. It’s a nice break to the monotony of Mondays and Wednesdays, which are our biggest academic work days.

Later in the spring, I’d like to start both boys in some art classes. Art isn’t my strongest area, and I think they’d both benefit from some additional instruction. We’ll also have a little more money freed come summer time, once the Tank is no longer in preschool. I’m already looking at the possibly camps and programs they could enjoy this summer!

As a follow-up, Lisa would also like to know, “How far away would you travel for a class that fit your schedule that you could not teach?”.

Could not? There is very little I could not teach. I can’t imagine willingly traveling more than 20 minutes each way with any regularity. We have enough resources within a short drive that I wouldn’t be willing to drive to downtown Atlanta, up to Gwinnett, or any place like that just for a class. A one-time thing? Sure. A one-week camp, once a year? Maybe. A regular class? I’d just have to look for a closer alternative.

That’s how a [Smrt] Homeschooler handles outside schooling!

Do you have a question for the [Smrt] Homeschooler? Email them to
smrtmama@smrtlernins.com

I was pleased to see this great article in Access Atlanta about the growing number of local homeschoolers and the various programs springing up to accommodate us. These programs are “part of a trend of home schoolers becoming involved in activities that would have once seemed the antithesis of learning in a private, family-based environment. What began with home educated students making their presence felt in scholastic sports leagues and youth orchestras has spread to cultural institutions.”

Along with listing information on various programs available to homeschoolers, the article also gives information on homeschooling numbers both nationally and state-wide:

In part, this development can be attributed to critical mass: In its most recent study in 2007, the U.S. Department of Education estimated some 1.5 million students nationwide were home schoolers, up from 850,000 in 1998; the private National Home Education Research Institute says the number may be as high as 2.5 million now. An earlier analysis conducted by the U.S. Department of Education in 2003 found that 40.6 percent of all home schooled students lived in the South, nearly twice as many as in any other region of the country.

Officially, Georgia now boasts almost 40,000 homeschooled students! I have some questions about the bolded portion of the following paragraph, however:

In Georgia, 39,207 students were home schooled in 2009, according to numbers compiled by the state Department of Education. The highest concentration was in metro Atlanta, including 3,276 in Gwinnett and 2,942 in Cobb. Fulton’s total was listed as zero, suggesting the overall figure statewide is probably higher.

How is it that Fulton county lists no homeschoolers at all? Every county in Georgia should have the same reporting requirements. What is going on at the Fulton county superintendent’s officer that no homeschoolers are being reported? If any of my readers living and schooling in Fulton, I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences about this.

It feels nice to be a part of something. Two years ago, this article would have meant nothing to me. A year ago, it might have piqued my curiosity, as we were just starting to explore alternatives to public school. Now, however, I’m part of a group that is “making [our] presence felt.” I love my new community of families and I’m so glad we have all these wonderful local resources available to us.

A banner week! This week was pretty much all success, very little arse-dragging or slacking or attitude.

Life of Fred: Decimals and Percents was gangbusters, chapters 16-19 and the first pass at the bridge. Granted, he got all loosey-goosey come bridge time, so he’ll have to do at least one more try, but every other day this week, he finished quickly and with little to no error. He seems to have finally found his pace with the decimals.

I was thrilled to implement the MCT curricula this week. Captain Science absolutely loves Grammar Town. It’s mainly reading, with very little written work, though there are several sections of memorization (pronouns, verb tenses, etc.). I’ve had Captain Science write the memorization stuff down and we have been doing little memory games when we’re at the table for a meal or riding in the care. I made up a poem for the subject and object pronouns, which Cpt. Science enjoyed. He’s already well into the book, covering pgs 3-55, which means he’s about at the halfway point. Good thing we have plenty of other language arts stuff to work on!

Captain Science also began Caesar’s English I. He did the introduction on Tuesday and the first lesson today. Again, little written work, a lot of reading, and then review. I told Captain Science that if he can pass the first review on the first attempt, we’ll start his actual Latin curriculum!

At Patchfire’s recommendation, we started the poetry along with grammar. No actual writing yet, just reading. Captain Science read the first section, “Building Poems.” He enjoys reading the poems, though I hope he’ll also enjoy writing them. I need to compile a list of example poems for each of the topics (assonance, alliteration, iambic pentameter, etc.) covered. Once I do, I’ll post that here.

Speaking of writing, we started our short story “class” with Captain Science and Eclectic Girl this week. The children first wrote down what they thought the components of a short story might be, then we discussed them and talked about why each guess was or wasn’t an element of a short story. We talked about length, conflict and resolution, antagonists and protagonists, then Cpt. Science and EG wrote a paragraph describing their antagonist and his/her main conflict in the story. EG’s story is about a girl from Chocolate World, trying to get to Candy World. Cpt. Science’s story is about a warrior from his imaginary world of Exon and the battle to…well, I’m not exactly clear on that, but he’s got the whole story to explain it to me!

History this week was the final bit of ancient Rome, the Pantheon Project. Next week, we’ll do a quick review and whatever final assessment I come up with. We’ve done crosswords, word puzzles, and Venn diagrams, so I need to come up with something else fun. Any suggestions?

We’re also back on the ball with Science on the same day (Tuesday) EG and Patchfire came over for writing, Patchfire taught a science unit on the brain. Cpt. Science and EG read, looked at CAP, PET, and MRI scans of the brain (which they Googled), and colored a scan of the brain. On Thursday, we went over for a continuation of the unit on water and heat.

Next week, Officer Daddyman starts his first board and card game design class. I think we have a few other families interested, so I think that will be a lot of fun. He’s great with kids that age, too, so I think he’ll also get a lot of enjoyment out of the class. If he hadn’t become a cop, he could easily have been a wonderful middle school teacher. He has the kind of patience for children ages 8-13 that I just don’t have. I’m better with the littles and the great-bigs. The in-between-bigs aren’t my best area.

The Tank also had a great week at school, though it was early release week, due to the public school schedule. Can I get a “and that’s another reason why we’re not re-enrolling him next year” from the audience? The high point of the week was Pajama Day, when Tank got to wear his big brother pajamas to class and bring a stuffed animal. He chose Captain Science’s old Build a Bear, named “Bye Bye Bear” that meows when you squeeze its paw (hey, Cpt. Science was only 2 when he made it, ok?).

Babypie is talking up a storm. I started making a list of the things she says (to me, at least) and I came up with around 20 words! At 10 months old! Another talker like her biggest brother, I guess. Amazing how much she and Captain Science are alike.

My only accomplishments for the week were ticking off some unschoolers and developing mastitis. I recovered from the unschooler thing right away, but the mastitis has been a slower go of it. Still feeling run down and glad it’s finally the weekend.

I missed last week’s review, which makes that my first one skipped this year, a bit of a downer and a disappointment. This week, despite Officer Daddyman being in domestic violence training (preventing and pursuing, not perpetrating) and me having to solo parent, has been exceptionally productive, academically-speaking.

I have noticed an irritating trend of learned helplessness in Captain Science, cropping up most noticeable in areas where he’s asked to either apply a general idea specifically or glean an idea based on data that doesn’t spell it out exactly. Now, I know this child well. I know he’s capable of all of that. When he demonstrates he knows how to round decimals, but insists he simple can’t round pi to the thousandth place after the decimal, because the book doesn’t say how to round pi specifically, it’s hard to resist the urge to whack him on the head with the book (of course, I did resist, but it was difficult). When he’s been able to read and extrapolate ideas, even very abstract ones, from reading for years, but he can’t come up with why he thinks Cleopatra was a good or bad ruler of Egypt because the books doesn’t specifically say she was either, that book-whacking urge resurfaces (I resisted it then, too, but golly! Difficult!).

I’m nipping that helplessness in the bud and Captain Science does seem to be responding to that. I told him in no uncertain terms that he was neither helpness nor incapable, and that I wasn’t going to hold his hand through assignments. I also told him that if he could only learn through being spoon fed select bits of information through worksheets and books that give all the answers, I may as well send him to public school, because that’s not what we’re about here. He agreed that being spoon fed wasn’t much fun and didn’t teach him much, and he’d rather make more of an effort at home. Since we had our talk, he’s definitely shown me he is willing and able to step it up. I’m very proud of his efforts from Wednesday onward!
Last week, Captain Science completed his last bridge in Life of Fred: Fractions and started Life of Fred: Decimals and Percents, completing chapters 1 and two. This week, he completed chapters 3-5, the bridge to chapter 6 (only missed 1, corrected on the first try), and chapter 6.

In history, Captain Science read about both Julius Caesar and Cleopatra in History: The Definitive Visual Guide, and wrote essays about his feelings on their respective rules (and in Caesar’s case, whether or not his assassination was justified – he felt it was). He’s enjoying Rome tremendously, everything from history and culture to language…which brings us to our next topic!

Captain Science has decided that he wants to learn Latin! He’s been coming across Latin phrases in his Percy Jackson, mythology, and history books, and asked if he could learn “the Roman language.” Who am I to say “no,” when the main reason he wasn’t learning it from the start was what I perceived to be a lack of interest on his part? I’ll be researching Latin curricula over the break and he will start in January!

Captain Science completed a review of chapter 7 in Growing with Grammar, leaving only the “growing with words and punctuation” section before we take a break from GWG. He finished exercises 5 and 6 in Editor in Chief A1. Unfortunately, I think this level is much too easy for him, and while I like the format, I’m unimpressed by the writing. Despite having originally balked at it, due to its popularity and reputation as the only acceptable program for gifted students, I have become swayed to the Michael Clay Thompson language arts curriculum and am considering picking up Grammar Town for Captain Science to start next semester. I might also replace Vocabulary from Classical Roots with Building Language, since the vocabulary in Vocabulary from Classical Roots has been underwhelmingly challenging. Captain Science completed review quizzes of chapters 1, 2, and 3, then the test for the whole first section. The ones he got incorrect on the test, I understand why he chose the answer he did. The answers he chose also made sense if you looked at the question another way. One example was a fill-in-the-blank that said, “Because young children will often lie to please you, you should question them _____.” The correct answer was “delicately,” but Captain Science chose “delightfully.” I asked him why, and his reasoning was that if you appear to be very happy with them, they will be more likely to tell the truth. That’s apparently the same argument Patchfire’s Eclectic Girl made, when she answered that same question in the same way! Gifted minds, I guess.

He’s also doing some outside-the-box thinking in logic. He completed several Logic Countdown pages over the last two weeks, and in the ones where you have to find the relation between the items or choose which doesn’t belong, the relations he draws are often interesting. Today, one problem had squares with dots on them (1, 2, 4, 6, and 8 dots). The obvious answer was that 1 didn’t belong, because it’s odd and the others are even, but Captain Science chose 8, because the others were all the numbers and patterns found on a six-sided die. I accepted it as correct.

Tonight, we did another water-related science unit at Patchfire’s house. Captain Science, the Tank, and I all did a crystal-growing project on Thursday night, too, which was fun. We grew faux red tourmaline. It does appear to be working, though crystals are growing everywhere but the granite stone, which was supposed to be where they grew. Oh well.

The Tank had his Christmas pageant at preschool. He was one of the only three-year-olds who sang and his hand gestures were flamboyant. He enjoyed himself immensely. It was the exact same pageant performed when Captain Science was two and three, with the exception of the overly long prayer by the new minister at the beginning. Really, you’re not converting anyone at a preschool pageant, sir. Let it go.

Officer Daddyman is now home, but my week isn’t over yet. Tomorrow, we have Captain Science’s birthday, which means housecleaning instead of a much needed morning of sleeping in. Oh well. Maybe Sunday?

Officer Daddyman is in police training all week and sleeping down at the training center (it’s about two hours from here), so I’m flying solo with the three kids. Not only that, but my first line of defense, Nana and Papa, are on a much-deserved anniversary trip to the beach. It’s my first week alone with the kids since we’ve started homeschooling, so I’m a little nervous!

The first day has gone smoothly thus far, with a little hangup over Captain Science’s use of the word “scandal” in his history assignment — the rule is “don’t use a word if you don’t know the meaning,” and he didn’t know the meaning. Even after looking up the definition, he didn’t understand what the big deal was about Julius Caesar’s “adulterous relationships with married women” — and I did not enlighten him! Roman history is colorful, to say the least. I’m hiding A Day in the Life of Ancient Rome from his, as I don’t want to explain about some of the methods of execution. Being, ehem, loved to death by a bull to recreate the conception of the minotaur before a live studio audience? I’ll skip that lesson and the subsequent therapy bills.

I managed to successfully get everyone schooled, run my errands, and am now trying to decide what to feed them, before heading over to feed Nana and Papa’s cats (and possibly hitting Target for an additional stocking hanger for our mantel — five people, five stockings, but only four hangers currently, you see). I’m trying not to feel too down about Daddyman being gone all week, our undecorated half-lit tree (stupid pre-lit trees with stupid shorts in their stupid wires), and the fact that there’s still so much work to be done on the house before the holidays and our post-holidays guests. Oy! Humbug.

I’m getting a little worried about splitting Rome in half with the holidays like we’ll be doing. Will Captain Science retain everything over a two week break? Will he retain anything? Will we have to redo what we’ve done? Maybe I should make some trivia cards and pretend it’s a game, but really it’ll be homeschooling. Like that cookbook where they hide the vegetables in the cupcakes so kids don’t know you’re feeding them something other than white flour and sugar. And seriously, what kind of dumb idea is that cookbook, anyway?

Digression, for the win. It’s only Monday, and already I’m cracking up!

I am developing a game plan for the week, and that game plan is “keep them as busy as possible.” We’re going to run errands, go to meetings, do anything we can to stay active. We are going to be on-the-go-schoolers this week, because I cannot be cooped up in this house with our snaggledy-lighted naked tree like some sort of shut-in, just because it’s too damn cold for the kids to go outside barefoot (which, yes, they whine about). I have outlawed whining this week and declared that any “didn’t get my way” crying fits will result in laps run or times out, depending on the age of the child (Babypie excluded). I shall broker no crap this week, thank you ever so much.

Off to stuff the children full of some semblance of dinner before Babypie’s nap is over, then loading them all run them around to sleep. At least tomorrow is the La Leche League meeting, so I don’t have to concoct any entertainment (or lunch). Maybe I’ll make Captain Science sit in, take notes, and call it a science lesson. Maybe I’ll just trot my children out as an example of either evidence of breastfeeding’s link to increased intelligence or a warning of how extended breastfeeding and babywearing can turn into a scary snowball, rolling downhill into full-blown homeschooling hippie crunchiness. We shall see.

*knock on wood* So far today, everything has gone right! I shall illustrate for you in bullet point.

The Ways In Which All Is Well Today:

Officer Daddyman took The Tank to school, letting me sleep in quite late (I’m not telling how late).

Captain Science had his math chapter finished before I got up.

Officer Daddyman fixed pancakes and my coffee was ready for me when I got to the table.

Captain Science got through his keyword outline of Greek Gods, so we got to go to Rita’s for frozen custard and caramel apple ice (I called you several times, Patchfire, but you didn’t answer).

I picked up Editor in Chief A1, Key To Fractions 2 (multiplying and dividing), and a cheap copy of Julius Caesar at Scary Jesus Book Store, and (*dance of joy*) found out they have the theory book to Spencerian Penmanship at their other location and I can pick it up at my local shop on Tuesday or Thursday.

Captain Science is finishing his rough draft for his Greek portion of his Pantheon Project with no whining or arguing and very little dawdling.

The Ways In Which All Has Not Gone Well:

The Tank was playing Dance Mat Typing on Officer Daddyman’s computer, got to some snoring hippo lesson, and then accidentally logged out of the password-protected log-in. Now the damn hippo won’t stop snoring.

Captain Science said something really funny and brilliant in the car today and I can’t remember what it was.

Captain Science needs to work on treating other people’s things with respect. He keeps knocking/throwing my stuff on the floor and stepping on it.

Not a bad day when the good list is that much bigger than the bad list (and the bads are mostly just not-goods as opposed to plain-old-rottens).

When deciding on our homeschooling schedule, we had several things to take into account. Officer Daddyman is on evening watch, which means he leaves the house at around 2pm and doesn’t return until 11pm or later. He works part time security jobs at odd hours. His off days rotate forward by one day every fourth Sunday. The Tank goes to a three day a week, four hour a day preschool. We have a co-op on Tuesday that runs most of the day. We go to another family’s house for science class on Thursdays.

Captain Science thrives on routine. The more predictable the schedule, the happier a child he us. The very best schedule for us would be to get up at the same time each day, start and finish school at the same time each day, and do the same things in the same order each day. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, for the sake of Captain Science’s ability to cope with change), our family schedule simply doesn’t allow us to do that.

Due to Daddyman’s rotating off days, we had originally considered keeping school days on his work days and rotating our “weekend” to match up with his. Because The Tank goes to school outside the home, however, and because we have commitments elsewhere, we realized that wouldn’t be practical. We keep to a traditional Monday through Friday schedule. This means that Officer Daddyman is sometimes home all day to help with homeschool and sometimes is gone all day and doesn’t see the kids at all on a day when we have no school. When Captain Science was in public school, he would sometimes have three or four days in a row of not seeing his dad at all, though, so at this point, any additional amount of time we see Daddyman feels like lagniappe.

On Monday, either Daddyman or I wakes up at 7:50 to get The Tank ready for school. We get the Captain up and rolling if he’s not up already, so he can eat breakfast. Sometimes, he and Daddyman will go on a run while Babypie and I take The Tank to school. Sometimes, Captain Science goes ahead and starts on his math (his first subject of any at-home day) while Daddyman sleeps in a bit with Babypie, especially if Daddyman has worked late the night before. Once I’m back from dropping off The Tank, we go on about our day, until 12:40, when I have to go get The Tank again. I leave Captain Science, and occasionally Babypie, with Daddyman. Once I’m home, we just work until the work is done.

On Tuesday, Daddyman and Captain Science get up early to go to the first session of co-op classes, the martial arts class that Daddyman teaches at 10. I stay behind and get lunches packed and the two little ones dressed and ready, so I can be there for my class at 11. Daddyman stays at co-op until noon, watching Babypie while I teach, and then he leaves. I feed the boys and then take The Tank and Babypie home with me for naps at around 12:30, returning at 3:00 to get Captain Science. That’s usually the end of our homeschool day, thank goodness!

Right now, Daddyman works a part time on Wednesdays at a local bank. He leaves before dawn and then usually goes straight to his shift, as his off days are Thurs/Fri right now. Homeschooling can sometimes feel very overwhelming on Wednesdays, because I get up at 7:50 with The Tank, get all his school stuff ready, and have to get everyone in the car to drop him off. Captain Science can’t start his math until we’re home at 9:15 or 9:20, so it’s hard to get far before we have to turn around and go back to the preschool (can you see why I’m considering not reenrolling him for the next school year?). I have all three kids, alone, all day long, and the little two are cranky because they want their daddy. On Wednesdays, I usually flee to Nana’s house for coffee, just for some adult company and a little freedom from the boys, who will play with her neighbors for a while.

Thursdays, I get up with everyone again, load them up, and drop off The Tank. After that, I take Captain Science over to Patchfire’s house for science, stay until 12:20 when Eclectic Girl has to go to piano lessons, then come home. Daddyman usually goes to pick up The Tank on Thursdays, so Captain Science can eat lunch and start on his other school work.

Fridays are such a relief! No preschool! No work! Unless Daddyman has court, he’s home all day. We don’t get rolling very early on these days, more like 9+ than 8ish. Officer Daddyman usually cooks a big brunchfest at around 10-11. If Captain Science has been having trouble with any math concepts, Daddyman spends the rest of the morning helping him with that. We don’t have a lot of curricula to cover on Fridays, as this is the day we do things like typing and logic, so we can relax and not have to rush. We like to wrap it up early if possible, because we have a standing dinner and play date with The Mitnens*. Occasionally, Captain Science has a Dawdling Day, though, and we are late to our date.

Saturdays are makeup days if we’ve had to miss a day for illness or injury, though we’ve only had two of those so far. Officer Daddyman is currently working on Saturdays and Sundays, so we tend to bum around with family or friends, and make out of the house plans that don’t involve him.

We have hectic, full lives, as you can see, yet we can make homeschooling work for us. If anything, homeschooling better suits our schedule, because we have more together time and because we don’t have to revolve five days a week around meeting someone at the bus stop. We can hit the playground before the afterschool rush. Homeschooling fits our crazy schedule, and we like it that way!

*The Tank says “Mitnen” for “mister” and “miss.” He also can’t say the letter “S” very well, so he calls Patchfire’s husband “Mitnen Ham” and her “Mitnen [Patchfire].” Now the McLernins refer to the whole family as “The Mitnens.”

Unsocialized homeschoolers? If anything, the kids in the homeschool co-op are a little too socialized for my comfort level.

Some of the older children have discovered the notion of “crushes.” Little romantic dramas unfold and play out to their end, all within the half-hour the kids spend on the playground during lunch. There’s hand holding, pushing each other on the swing, and even some surreptitious attempts to slip into the bushes and kiss. While this is relatively age appropriate for the 9+ crowd, the mixed-age makeup of the homeschooling groups (where age “segregation” is never, ever, ever ok!) seems to be resulting in the much younger kids mimicking this kissy-face behavior without any understanding of the context or why it’s not ok to wallow all over each other during class time.

It’s getting disruptive, with the playground volunteers and the teachers having to pry the children off of each other. Because some of the children come from low or no boundary households, they aren’t taking “no” for an answer and it’s turning into something of a tussle, with the recipient of the child’s affection (whether willing or unwilling) in the middle as we try to scrape the affectionate child off him/her. These kids, some of whom have very little by way of experience in a structured environment, don’t understand why they can’t smooch, hug, or lay all over each other in the middle of class.

I actually sat the whole lot of them down during the 2pm session and we had a little talk about personal space and how co-op isn’t the place for kissing and draping yourself across each other. I have no idea if they got it. The little girl who’d spent the day clinging to an alternately willing and unwilling Captain Science said to me, quite forcefully, that she would NOT stay off of him, until I informed her that I don’t let children talk to me in that manner and she most certainly would keep her hands to herself. Captain Science and Officer Daddyman are going to have a nice little chat about age-appropriate behavior, too, because he does not need to be kissing girls just because some 11- and 12-year-olds might be doing it.

Whatever else they may be, these homeschoolers are not awkward around other kids. They’re a tetch too comfortable with each other. And here I thought I had at least another year or two before I had to worry about this stuff!

For Secular Thursday, Patchfire and I packed up our babies and headed out to the Scary Jesus Book Store*, our local homeschool book store. It caters to a…well, let’s just call them the Really Really Not Secular crowd. We both independently came up with the idea of photoblogging our trip, so check out her Secular Thursday post on the same topic!

This is Scary Jesus Book Store. It’s on the corner of a local strip shopping mall. It will help you build character. GET IT?

As you can see, it makes no bones about what it is. Christian. No Sundays. No Wednesdays. Not so many hours.

This is us. Patchfire and Purple Child on the left, Smrt Mama and a teensy bit of Babypie’s hand and shoulder on the right. Scary Jesus Book Store also featured.

Math. Fairly Jesus-free. Nice. Feeling pretty hopeful.

Hopes immediately dashed by shelf full of Creationism DVDs…

The neighboring shelf of $.50 Christian tracts (offering answers on many important issues)

And Literal 6-day Young Earth Creationist “Science” books on the next shelf over from that.

So much ignorance of actual scientific evidence, so little time.

Then we hit Bible versions. How many Bible versions does one need? The answer…

Home Economics for Homeschoolers? Only girl ones. Lucky for Captain Science, only girls need to learn about things like cooking, ironing, cleaning, and sewing.

“Better get right on that domestic stuff, Rosie. Daddyman’s shirts won’t iron themselves.”

Patchfire says Eclectic Girl really liked these books, which are parallel histories. Hi, Patchfire! Hi, Purple Child!

Bob Jones University. All of it.

At this point, the store owner (who might be German? Very blond, Aryan, with a Germanic-sounding accent) came over to ask why we were taking pictures. We both said, very honestly, that we were photoblogging for our homeschool blogs. “Some people might think it’s weird,” said Patchfire. Aryan Scary Jesus Book Store Owner replied, “I think it is you are** weird, too, and I think I do not like it.” No more in-store pictures. We made our purchases (I got Vocabulary From Classical Roots and Spencerian Handwriting — $20, not a bad deal!) and left.

Happy Patchfire!

Naughty rebel Smrt Mama! Please note my minivan, the Battlestar Galactogogue, with her lovely pro-gay marriage, pro-Obamacare, cloth-diapering, shop local bumper stickers — used to have a great breastfeeding magnet, too, but someone stole it at the homeschool co-op.

Smrt Mama is HARDKORE!

A nice field trip into the belly of the Christian Homeschooling beast. Another fun Secular Thursday!

*That’s Scary Jesusbook Store, not Scaryjesus Book Store. The store is the scary part, not Jesus.
**Patchfire reminded me that the book store owner did not say “it” was weird, but that “we” were weird.