Smrt Lernins

I don’t mean the things that we long for, but the things that we homeschoolers tend to overlook.

When I had to get up at 6:15 to get Captain Science off to school in a timely fashion and received a backpack full of reminder notes every day, life was quite different for us than it is now. More predictability. More routine. That’s not to say that we don’t have a routine now, but it’s different each day of the week, as we have co-op on Tuesdays, science at Patchfire’s house on Thursday, piano lessons two days, things here and things there. It’s not 7:45 to 2:15 every Monday through Friday. It’s not on someone else’s time.

This sort of nonreliance on the schedule of others is wonderful in almost every aspect, save one…we’re totally, completely responsible for keeping track of stuff for ourselves! That means that, sometimes, things just don’t get done. We don’t think about them. We don’t remember them. Here are some examples:

1. Picture Day. There is no official homeschool picture day. As a result, Captain Science is almost through with his 4th grade year and has not had formal pictures made. We keep saying we’re going to get them done, but that just hasn’t happened.

2. Hair cuts. Without planned picture days and school field trips, for which I didn’t want my child to look like he was being raised by stewbums, hair cuts tend to fall by the wayside. I wasn’t the best about scheduling them regularly as it was, but at least three times a school year (for first day of school, fall pictures, and spring pictures), Captain Science got a really nice hair cut. Once we got that “picture day is coming” notice, we’d schedule the hair cut. Now, it’s more like Officer Daddyman spends weeks complaining about Captain Science and Tank’s ever-growing hair, I swear I’ll make an appointment to have it done, Daddyman gets frustrated and just takes the boys to his barber, at which point I complain about their hair being too short. OH THE JOYS OF HOMESCHOOLING!

3. Watching what we say. If the boys were in full time public school, I think I’d watch my mouth a little more carefully. Since they’re home so much, I have developed an unfortunate tendency to just say the things I’d normally have saved for times I wasn’t in their presence. My worst offense is, “So’s your face,” which my brother says is the appropriate response to absolutely everything (and the response to “So’s your face” is “Your mom”). Captain Science will announce, “Mama, I’m done with math,” and I’ll say, “Oh yeah? Well, so’s your face!” Captain Science will say, “So’s your mom,” and Tank, who is the classiest among us, yells, “So’s your BUTT.” I know I should correct it, simply because it’s not socially acceptable for my kids to say that, but it’s not like they’re going off to school and saying it to their teachers, right?

4. All that important non-curriculum stuff that kids still need to learn. Did you know that you were supposed to make sure your kids memorized their address? I know I totally didn’t think about it until Patchfire told me Eclectic Girl was six before they realized that she didn’t know her address. Oops! Public schooled kids get it drilled into them in kindergarten, but our homeschooled children are going to grow up with no clue as to where they live. Someone needs to put together a checklist of non-curriculum stuff that our kids need to learn. That list will also include how to spell their last name, their parents’ names, and their phone number.

5. Cops and firemen. Unless you’re luck enough to have an Officer Daddyman in the house, your kids may be missing out on the awesome public school experience of fire fighters and law enforcement officers coming out to the school to teach your kids about safety and how to dial 911 while mama and daddy are sleeping late (they say that’s not what they’re doing, but you KNOW that’s what they’re doing). There’s always the option of trying to get your co-op in to the fire station, I suppose.

6. Fire drills. You should be having these for your family anyway, but I bet you don’t. I know I don’t. At school, your kids would be having fire drills. They’d learn to “stay low and go” and to “stop, drop, and roll.” Maybe when you plan that visit to the fire station that you aren’t actually going to plan, you can make sure the firemen address those topics.

What things do you think that you’re missing as a homeschooler? What critical gaps in your child’s education (academic or social), appearance, or experience are you completely overlooking?

Daisy asks, “Should I join a homeschool advocacy group like HSLDA (Homeschool Legal Defense Association)?”

In a word, no.

Please forgive me if I become too wordy or impassioned, but this particular topical splinter has been digging into my brain for a while now. What comes out might not be pretty. As a secular homeschooler, I’m not ever going to be on board with the HSLDA. As a liberal homeschooler, I’m not ever going to be on board with the HSLDA. Honestly, as a homeschooler in general, I’m not ever going to be on board with the HSLDA.

HSLDA is a religious group and has, in my opinion, some rather sinister ulterior motives that go much further than protecting or extending the rights of homeschoolers. It’s not just “rah rah, homeschooling!” but a lot of unpleasant cause mixing — they’ve either directly worked against, encouraged members to work against, or celebrated legislation outlawing/limiting gay marriage, gun-free school zones, abortion, and more. Not only does this stand against things I believe in, ethically/morally and politically/legally speaking, but really crosses the line from supporting homeschool to intervening in the lives of others — ironically, the very thing they seem so convinced the government is set on doing. A 2004 article in the Boston Globe addresses many of my concerns with the organization and what I feel is an exploitation of homeschooling families and homeschooled children to push the HSLDA’s ultraconservative agenda.

When I think of major legal or social issues that might impact homeschooling, gay marriage isn’t something that springs to mind. The HSLDA seems to think it’s terribly relevant to homeschooling, however, as they sent an email to their mailing list asking if members would support amendment to ban gay marriage and later posted a Q&A page on the importance of a federal ban on gay marriage. I haven’t yet had someone else’s marriage, gay or straight, in any way affect my ability to homeschool my children, but I guess it’s possible I’m missing something. Does the mythical Gay Agenda now include “outlaw homeschooling” along with “destroy the sanctity of your marriage” and “corrupt your children” “go to work,” “raise a family,” and “live my life?”

What does abortion have to do with homeschooling, exactly, outside of the topics of health or religious belief? The HSLDA has an entire page on their site celebrating “partial birth abortion” ban. HSLDA president Michael Farris hopes, in his own words, that “homeschooled young people will help reverse Roe v. Wade.” Again, I’m curious as to what Roe v. Wade has to do with mathematics, science, language arts, or any other aspect of home education. How is Roe v. Wade, or abortion in general, an issue that should be addressed by a homeschooling organization?

Why does an organization charging around $100/year in membership dues, supposedly to pay for legal defense for homeschooling issue, instead shunt that money into stopping abortion or gay marriage, or championing non-homeschool-related political causes in general? HSLDA funds the National Center for Home Education, which is a lobbying organization, and Generation Joshua, which is designed to indoctrinate homeschooled students into the Farris’s specific set of conservative beliefs and recruit them for conservative grassroots movements.

Additionally, the HSLDA, champion of the “rights” of homeschooled parents, is also absurdly afraid of children having rights of their own.

You’re better off knowing your own rights and retaining your own counsel, IMO, unless you want to fund the above. Obviously, I’m addressing a general “you,” or more specifically, answering the question of whether I would join the HSLDA, because I certainly wouldn’t want to fund the above. Even some of my politically conservative, Christian friends won’t join the HSLDA, because they feel uncomfortable with the degree of political involvement and the related pressure on member-families. Sadly, the HSLDA presents itself as the only game in town and the only group standing between homeschoolers and terrible, crushing demise at the government’s hands. Yes, homeschoolers do have it pretty rough in some states, but the intrusive, rabidly conservative approach of the HSLDA strikes me as a way to worsen, rather than improve, conditions for homeschoolers.

Daisy also asked about joining the HSC (Homeschool Assoc of CA). This group appears to be inclusive and to genuinely focus on advocating for the rights of homeschoolers. If you really feel that joining a legal/advocacy group is important, the HSC sound like a much better bet to this [Smrt] Homeschooler.

Do you have a question for the [Smrt] Homeschooler? Email them to
smrtmama@smrtlernins.com

I’m sometimes amused by some of the ways in which people stumble across my blog. I use Google Analytics to track my site statistics, so I get a nice breakdown of search terms used to find my site. While I’m usually glad to grab a new reader, I’m not sure I’m really the site that some of these people are searching for in their great Googling adventures.

The search terms may be completely straightforward:

smrt lernins
smrt lernins blog
smrt mama
smrt learnings
patchfire eclectic girl (who was looking for you and got me instead, Patchfire?)

Sometimes the search terms are curricula-centered:

mct grammar
can abeka be secular?
building poems m clay
ellen mchenry “the brain” homeschool
compare just write and writing strands
life of fred math overly christian
jesus in math class/jesus mathematics/jesus math/bible verses on mathematics (four separate searches)

Sometimes, the searcher clearly has…let’s just call them “strong feelings” on certain topics:

unschooling failure (well, yes, I do give some examples of that here)
are there unschoolers that are not hippies (yes, but the other unschoolers killed and ate them)
being unschooled did not prepare me (Am I the only one who is terribly curious for what this searcher was unprepared?)
are home schooled children to sheltered (My answer: No, but they are able to distinguish between “to” and “too”)
homeschooler sheltered (also “sheltered homeschooler”)
pitfalls of unschooling (better than “pit traps of unschooling”)
unschooling idiocy (this works on a few levels, so please feel free to insert your own joke here)

And finally, the downright bizarre:

“a lot of pee” (their quotes!)
captain underpants valuable lessons learned (lesson learned: Don’t read Captain Underpants)
lern sex (No! Learn spelling!)
distilling urine (Ok, fair enough. I do have a post tagged with this)
etymology of sexy (I’m pretty sure it derives from the word “sex”)
in the event of this tough situation (break glass, remove homeschooler)
seculat thrusday (yes, I know this is just a matter of typos, but what a glorious combination of typos!)
why is math hard for pretty girls (because God doesn’t give with both hands)

Then there’s the one search that really tugs at my heart strings, because I could have been the one who searched for it about a year ago:

homeschooling parents who feel panic and anxiety (You aren’t the only one out there! I’m here! You aren’t alone!)

If you found my site through a search engine, how did you get here? If you were searching for my site, what do you think you’d search for?

I’d like to talk to you about a radical new homeschooling method called trampschooling. That’s right, education through trampoline.

Trampschooling is an alternative method to traditional homeschooling. Instead of using rigorous curricula, the child engages with the world through endless days spent bouncing on a trampoline. By bouncing, a child is learning all he needs to know about the real world. Trampschooling is excellent preparation for college and, most importantly, real life.

Leaping into the air is like leaping upwards into knowledge! Not only will your child learn important physical skills (what P.E. class could teach what a trampoline teaches about balance and core strength?), but s/he will learn basic principles of math and science through practical application. Physics taught through books and even fabricated lab kits is divorced from the true mechanics of the natural world. Trampschooled children learn about physics through self-directed experimentation. Nothing teaches a child more about force and trajectory than miscalculating a bounce and flying off into a fence. Not only that, but the subsequent emergency room visits will teach your child important information about modern medical science!

Trampschooling requires little financial investment, but full commitment to trust your child’s ability to direct his/her own bouncing. You can purchase a trampoline for as little as $150, though some savvy trampschooling parents have found them on Craig’s List or even Freecycle! As your child grows in trampschooling, you may want to replace your trampoline with a larger model, so s/he can better stretch, leap, and explore the world.

One of the most important aspects of trampschooling is respecting your child’s autonomous right to take risks. Pure trampschooling means eschewing the so-called safety enclosures — they’re little more than cages meant to oppress your child and minimize his/her learning experience! Give your children the gift of true knowledge and the freedom to fly!

If you’d like to learn more about trampschooling, check out the new trampschooling forums at Mothering.com.

Special thanks to Isarma for opening my eyes to this empowering new mode of homeschooling. We’re selling off all our curricula next week, buying a trampoline, and never looking back.

I belong to a group on Facebook called I homeschool and I teach the science of evolution.

The group was previously called “I homeschool and I believe in evolution,” but there was dissent amongst members and potential members over the word “believe.” Evolution isn’t something that someone needs to believe in. There’s no element of faith involved. Evolution is an evidence-based scientific theory. Saying you believe in evolution is like saying you believe in gravity, relativity, or germs. A few possible name options were bandied about, but “I homeschool and I teach the science of evolution” was the overall favorite and most of the members seemed quite happy with it.

Then, of course, enter that handful of we’re-never-happy-unless-it’s-100%-our-way unschoolers (you know…those unschoolers. Not the “we’re following our child’s natural pattern of learning” unschoolers, or the “I let me child direct the course of his education” unschoolers, but the “I’d rather be illiterate than have had my parents teach me to read” Doddist unschoolers) with their panties in a twist over the use of the word “teach.”

Yes, “teach.”

“Teach,” you see, is a big, bad word among a particular subset of unschoolers. These unschoolers do not “teach.” Never, ever, ever. They lead such enriched and depth-filled lives that their children all learn exactly what they need to learn through their vibrant social lives or it wasn’t important enough to learn to begin with. The use of the word “teach” in the group name was apparently offensive enough that several unschoolers (probably the ones my friend Heather calls the “radical XTREME unschoolers”) left the group.

Complaints about the new name included:

“I don’t teach anything, I support my children as they explore their passions and interests.”

“We don’t *teach* our kids[...]We fill their lives with rich experiences, and they reach their own conclusions.”

“I’m uncertain if we ‘teach’ any of the subjects. We facilitate.”

Really? Really? You know what that sounds like? A group of people finding the most circumlocutious way possible to say they teach without ever actually using the word “teach.” And what exactly is so wrong with “teach,” anyway? Let’s take a look at the dictionary entry for the little word:

1. To impart knowledge or skill to: teaches children.

Hmm…imparting knowledge to your child. Sounds dangerously similar to telling your child how to think. Yes, I can see why that might be threatening to the [radical XTREME] unschooler.

2. To provide knowledge of; instruct in: teaches French.

Well, “providing” knowledge doesn’t sound as bad as “imparting,” but you’re still thrusting all that knowledge upon your children when they might not want it.

3. To condition to a certain action or frame of mind: teaching youngsters to be self-reliant.

Aha! We have stumbled upon it. Conditioning your child? Conditioning is what Pavlov did with dogs, and your child isn’t a dog, right? Teaching is practically like making your child drool at the dinging of a bell. Horrifying!

4. To cause to learn by example or experience: an accident that taught me a valuable lesson.

But…but…wait a minute! I thought [radical XTREME] unschoolers wanted their children to learn by example or experience. Isn’t that what unschooling is supposed to be about? I thought it was about natural learning, modeling, learning contextually, learning through life experience and all that jazz. If “teach” can mean “cause to learn by example,” why would unschooler have a problem with that word? Now I’m really confused. It must be a product of my public school education’s failure to “teach” me how to understand crazy people on the internet.

Not all (or even most) unschoolers are coocoo for Cocoa Puffs on Facebook, of course. Most of the unschooling members of the group were very supportive of the name change. One unschooler even pointed out that, “Someone better go tell Holt (from my understanding, the person who coined the term ‘unschooling’) to change the name of his book, “Teach Your Own” since the word “teach” is bothering so many unschoolers here.” Virtual fist-bump, sensible unschooler.

I’d like to say something to those unschooloonies who gasp and clutch their pearls over the use of the word “teach.” You may hate the word, but you’ve inadvertently taught me something very valuable today: You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time, because some of the people are just plain ridiculous.

Today, I hurt myself homeschooling.

Yes, seriously.

Technically, I sustained my injury while doing some reorganizing of Captain Science’s binders and our mutual workspace. Unbeknownst to me, the Tank had taken a pair of scissors to the metal coil on the back of one of Captain Science’s creative writing notebooks, leaving the metal coil untucked, slightly sharpened, jagged, and serrated. I sorted through the grammar binder, cleaned up the table, was in the process of handing Captain Science the notebook so he could bring it up to his room.

He grabbed the notebook out of my hand more quickly than I had prepared for, so I didn’t release it fast enough. The sharp metal sliced across the meaty of the palm just below my left index finger (does that have a name? I think I used to know the palmistry term for it, but I’ve since forgotten) and across the bottom joint of my finger, leaving me with two deep, painful cuts. The pain was unexpected and shocking. I admit to some yelping and tears, though I think I managed to avoid dropping the F-bomb on my children, for which I believe I should be commended.

The worst part, really, is that the sudden, sharp pain triggered an anxiety attack, which I’ve spend my evening trying to tamp down and ignore. Smile like you mean it.

I now have a patchwork of different sized bandages and a wounded pride that I got hurt so badly on a freaking notebook. Homeschooling is very dangerous, y’all. Beware.

I think I’ve figured out the crux of Captain Science’s issues and it mostly comes down to the above statement. Captain Science always thinks he knows a better way to do things, and when his way isn’t actually better, he has a very difficult time accepting it. The roots of this are buried pretty deeply in his psyche, so I’m not sure how we’ll dig them out, if we even can.

I’ve seen a lot of chatter on the WTM forums lately about the difference between “gifted” and “just bright.” Several people insisted that giftedness comes down to “the way they think.” I am inclined to agree, because I’ve seen Captain Science’s brain working. He really does think differently and has a hard time relating to people who are more “inside the box” thinkers (or people who have difficulty getting the whole box of concepts immediately*). The upside is that it makes him a great abstract thinker and problem solver, when he applies his abilities confidently and diligently. The downside is that it has created an unwarranted sense of his own mental superiority, which manifests as the stubborn insistence that he can always, for every subject or activity, find a “better” way to do it. He’s also constantly on the search for shortcuts, even if those “shortcuts” end up requiring 10x the amount of work as just doing it the normal way.

We saw this a lot when he was little. When Officer Daddyman would teach him martial arts, he would usually respond with, “But I can show you a better way to [roll, stand, kick].” Eventually, he did have to acknowledge that, at five or six, he really didn’t have the knowledge to school the 4th degree black belt in martial arts, but before he could get to that point, there was a lot of headbutting and chest pounding (mostly on his part, as Daddyman isn’t generally going to dignify the young monkey’s attempt to show up the big gorilla).

We’re seeing it now with math, and today it proved to be the trigger for his absurd display of hissydom. He is perfectly competent in mathematics and math foundations, so the last two days, when he suddenly couldn’t do multiplication correctly, we knew something had to be up. Apparently, he decided he could develop a better (and more importantly, faster and easier) way to do multiplication. He would only do multiplication in his new “better” way, despite the fact that the answer came out wrong every single time. The more someone tried to demonstrate that his new method wasn’t working, the angrier he became, until suddenly, he went utterly nuclear. How dare we, the simple-minded parents of his great and hideous oppression, try to act like we knew better than he? How dare we say his way wasn’t hands down the single biggest mathematical innovation EVER in the history of the world?

I’m not exactly sure what to do about this. I’m glad he wants to try new methods, but insisting they’re the right or best ones, when they obviously aren’t, has got to stop. Captain Science is probably too aware of his intelligence, which was partially avoidable (too much praise from family and teachers, too involved in his own test scores during the grade skipping and gifted class testing process) and partially unavoidable (when you’re in a class environment, it’s really not hard to compare yourself to other children, and see that your capacity or performance is different from theirs). I do think that homeschooling will help somewhat in that respect, though — instead of being the gifted kid in a mainstream classroom with diverse ability levels, he’s one several. If Eclectic Girl’s math abilities don’t poke a little hole in his delusions of grandeur, then nothing will. I also hope that being with other highly intelligent children, working on higher-level work, will start encouraging him to rise to the challenge more, rather than finding short cuts.

I agree with Patchfire when she says an IQ of 300 doesn’t matter if all you do with it is sit around and play video games. “Gifted” may describe a certain, special way of thinking, but what does that really matter if the result is a smug attitude and the constant search for cheats and shortcuts? I was a “gifted” student, too, but by high school, I was cutting so many corners in order to put in as minimal effort as possible that I was performing at a significantly lower level than the “average” students in my classes. By college, I was making no effort at all, and I’d managed to functionally dumb myself down through sheer force of “couldn’t be bothered.” The brain is like any other muscle, and if you don’t exercise it to its full capacity, it starts losing that capacity and getting mushy. I don’t want that for Captain Science.

I’m happy for him to look for a better way to do things. I don’t want him thinking his way is automatically going to be better, simply by virtue of it being his way. I definitely don’t want him falling out with the red ass any time someone points out his way isn’t an improvement over the original way of doing things.

*When Captain Science was three, his preschool teacher told me about an incident in the classroom where his frustration with another classmate’s difficulty in mastering the colors came to a head. Nick had incorrectly identified something blue as green, prompting Captain Science to say, with great exasperation, “It’s blue, Nick. B-L-U-E, blue. Not blew like the wind. Blue like the color.” A warning sign of trouble to come?

Yes, we’re having another WTF Wednesday around these parts. Captain Science, after two wonderful weeks, has been on a slow decline this week, culminating in a full blown stomping, screaming fit. Yes, he’s been assessed for all those things you’d assess a child for when he is pitching a stomping, screaming fit (that was part of our barrage of testing before leaving public school). He doesn’t have any specific problem. He’s just throwing a hissy.

My theory is that we relaxed the prison-style homeschooling too quickly, because he was being so good and agreeable. We probably needed to continue to apply it for another two weeks beyond the improvement stage. Instead, we were too quick to relax and reward, and now Captain Science is back to having meltdowns. Gotta say, the kid is a master manipulator. I’m sure he’s just waiting for one of us to go try and empathize with him or attempt to understand why he’s acting like this.

Honestly, I don’t care why. I’m the adult. He is the child. I’m not going to be yanked around by a 9 year old with a bug up his butt. I’m done with sympathizing, empathizing, or in any way trying to explore his motivations. I do not give a rat’s patoot about his motivations. It’s behaviors that interest me, and his are going to change.

So, back we go to lockdown. We’re divesting him of his worldly toys and pleasure reading, too, in the interest of full blown attention to what needs to get done. We might be taking the door off the hinges again, as he’s been slamming it this week in his fits of tantrum. We aren’t scaling back any curricula, but we aren’t adding to it, and he might miss out on next week’s board game class if he can’t improve in the next six days. We’ll go to Patchfire’s house for science, then come straight home with no playtime.

At least Officer Daddyman was home to witness the sound and the fury. Also, I didn’t get even remotely upset about this magnificent display of jackassery (at least, not externally), so Captain Science didn’t accomplish getting a rise out of either of us. He is going to learn he can’t control us, but he had better damn well learn to control himself.

Ticked off mama is ticked off.

If you’ve ever wondered why I’m not a fan of unschooling, this pretty much sums up my concerns about what unschooling has the potential to become in the hands of someone who believes children innately have the foresight to know exactly what they need to know, and thus, makes no effort to adequately prepare her children for the future. A woman on the Mothering.com forums writes:

My children have been mostly unschooled which has meant engaged kids who are lovely people.. however they are at an age where they are looking to go to college (like the end of high school, kids here in the UK go at 16). Nearly all home-schooled kids want to go at 16 and mine are no different.
Their literacy is not great though. Spelling is difficult, punctuation and grammar need some work and they need to learn eg. how to write an essay. Most books with this in are aimed at quite young children. Does anyone know any books, websites etc. that we can use to get thier literacy improving?
We have the writing strands programme which is great but we need to work on the other bits of writing which aren’t covered in this.
Any advice?
TIA x

Yes, her children are “engaged, lovely people” who can’t read or write. This isn’t the first time she’s talked about her children’s functional illiteracy on the forums, or about her children’s struggles with math and other subjects, but she has taken no advice and implemented no measures consistently enough (or at all) to lead to any notable difference. When asked if tutoring or putting the children in school is an option, her response is:

School is not an option, they lead busy full happy lives and would not want to go.
Yes we have literacy struggles. I think the eldest 2 are dyslexic but can’t get help till college. We have tried various things, programmes and books. Mostly they type on keyboard which they prefer to writing and use spell-check. They have each just completed a qualification that is an exam equivalent but with no exam and they typed the stuff up. They don’t enjoy writing so I suppose it is a wait and see, carry on what we are doing and let college help them. Thanks for your replies
I was only asking if anyone had suggestions for books that may explain spelling rules/punctuation for older kids.

There is so much wrong with this picture. SO much. How has this mother’s brand of “unschooling” failed her children? Let me count the ways:

1. At least two of these children have a potential learning disability that their mother refuses to address, placing the responsibility for that on the college. Her children “can’t get help,” though I am sure they could if she were to enroll them in any sort of program.
2. Her children cannot read well, cannot use grammar, cannot spell, and do not know the basics of writing an essay, yet she believes all of this can be solved by a book that “explain[s] spelling rules/punctuation.” She also seems surprised that books on basic grammar and usage are all geared towards younger children.
3. Her children’s “busy lives” and “not want[ing] to go” to school apparently outweigh the fact that their mother has allowed them to reach their teen year without the basic abilities to read or write, yet she expects they will magically do well in college.
4. These children have apparently never been made to do work they do not enjoy, yet she expects they will waltz right in to college and be successful there.
5. These children have not been taught even the basics of writing, cannot read, cannot spell, cannot use grammar, and have not yet successfully passed an entrance exam, yet she expects they will waltz right into college and be successful there.
6. She believes that it is the job of the college to teach the children the basics of reading and writing that she has failed to teach them.
7. Her child, who didn’t even realize until age 14 that she would need to know these things, requested to learn them through a curriculum, and had her mother turn down that request because it would be “spoonfeeding her.”

I love how she mentions several times what delightful people her children are, as though that makes up for her complete parental failing to instill any form of academic education in her children. Being pleasant is great and all, but 16 is a bit late to be learning to read, and it’s certainly way too late to be addressing a learning disability like dyslexia. Her “engaged” and “lovely” children could have a successful career ahead of them at Chick-fil-A (which has delightfully pleasant servers). However, her daughter who does absolutely no math (outside of “money stuff”), cannot read well or write well, and who spends hours a day watching “Gossip Girl” and doing trampoline (according to this woman’s other posts) is not likely to flourish in college.

Sure, some of you will say, “Well, this lady is just one example of unschooling gone wrong. She’s hardly the rule!” Take a moment, if you will, to read some of the comments to that post (or to any posts in the unschooling forums on MDC) and you’ll find other unschoolers telling encouraging her in her gross negligence with little gems like, “If your daughter wants to go to college next year, it is up to her to make sure her writing skills are up to par. She can use you as a resource, but it is not your responsibility – it is hers,” “I’d make it HER responsibility to prepare for college- if she slacks off, the result is that she may have to wait longer to go,” “I think because our kids have choices and control over their lives, it’s unlikely that they’ll turn around and say something like, ‘You should have made me do xyz.’”

Yes, mom completely fails to teach her child anything, because the child doesn’t “want to.” Then, when that child is finally old enough to have that “oh shit!” moment and realize that perhaps a little learning might be necessary for a future, the mother is in no way obligated to help, nor is she culpable for the lack of education up to that point. The Unschooler Mantra (or “Radical Unschooler” Mantra, since all the unschoolers always say that what these people are doing isn’t “unschooling,” but “radical unschooling,” despite the fact the people actually doing it just call themselves unschoolers) — if they don’t choose to learn it, don’t make them learn it, and then take no responsibility that they didn’t learn it. Must be nice, being completely absolved of any responsibility or obligation to your children. Of course, it’s nearly impossible to play catch up for 10+ missed years of education in one or two years, but hey, let’s blame the kid!

As an aside, where did these unschoolers get the idea that reading alone will teach everything you need to know about proper grammar, spelling, and usage? Is it to make themselves feel better about the fact that their teenage daughter reading Twilight is the closest thing to an education she’s getting?

This week started out rough, but ended up productive.

Since winter break, Cpt. Science has been completely unwilling to do any work. Along with that, he’s been Bad Attitude Boy, smart mouthing and back talking and arguing. Things finally came to a head on Tuesday, when he pitched a shrieking, stomping tantrum at the park. Well, I don’t tolerate a tantrum from a nine year old, so we implemented what I like to call prison-style homeschooling: confinement to the house, most basic of subjects only (math, language arts, history), and lots of running if work isn’t completed or if there’s any back talk or rudeness. Captain Science ran an awful lot on Tuesday. He also missed out on science lab and wasn’t allowed to play with friends, visit Nana, or leave the house for anything but running.

Miraculously, he woke up on Wednesday, had a morning run, and was downright chipper. Not only did he finish his work in a timely manner, he did it with a glad heart, and the work was top notch! At the least sign of the return of the bad attitude, he was sent out to run four laps up and down the street. Each time, he came in with an even better attitude and work ethic. By today, he was zooming through his subjects with enthusiasm and determination, turning in top-notch work and using his best manners. He was rewarded with a short trip over to Nana’s house to play with his friends there, something he hasn’t been able to do during our week of prison-style homeschooling.

During three days of near-perfect homeschooling, Captain Science read about the fall of Rome and wrote a lovely essay about that, then made a great joke about part of Rome being attacked by birds, and becoming Turkey. He passed the bridge to chapter 15 in Life of Fred: Decimals and Percents in two tries, missing only two on the first try (most likely due to misreading his own handwriting in the middle of a problem) and only one on the second try (due to misreading “0″ as “6″ in the middle of a problem — time to work on handwriting again!). He read several chapters in Science: The Definitive Visual Guide, which we discussed. He did the last chapter in Vocabulary from Classical Roots that he will be doing, then passed the test on the previous four chapters. He also finished several sections in Writing Strands 3.

Next week, we toss Writing Strands, Vocabulary from Classical Roots, and Editor in Chief A1 in favor of the Michael Clay Thompson Town-level language arts curriculum. I’m so excited, and so is Captain Science.

Mostly, though, I’m excited that we’re finally back on track again!