I know, I know. Worst blogger ever.
There’s a certain part of me that hates to leave this blog lying fallow after two years of regular posting, but I’ll be honest, I just don’t feel as safe sharing information about myself or my family on this blog any more. The incident with the fundie “friend” towards the end of last school year was really the first of a series of events that has me rethinking how much I really want to write here. A particularly nasty comment left on an older entry during the summer, right around the time I was going to get the blog up and kicking again, kind of drove it home.
The internet is full of assholes. Do I really want to share my life with those assholes?
I’ve always been a huge proponent of blogging in general and of homeschool blogging specifically. I’ve also never been one to curb my tongue (or technically, my fingers) about my feelings on certain issues. I know my opinions aren’t always popular, and mostly, that doesn’t bother me. I’m so used to being the odd (wo)man out that having uncommon or unpopular opinions isn’t a new or strange experience. I stand by my words and typically don’t mind defending them, though I draw the line at approve comments whose only goal is to insult/detract/be douchey. When I change my mind about something, I don’t have a problem recanting any previous statements.
I do have a problem putting my life, my self, my family, my thoughts out there when the result is that people are going to be personally nasty. There are people out there who don’t deserve this window into my life, and I’ve been willing to ignore those people because the positive feedback has outweighed the negative.
Now? I don’t really feel as safe. I feel more private. I feel resentful of those people who don’t have anything productive to add, but sure as hell have an ugly word about how I’m doing it wrong. I just don’t know that it’s worth it. I don’t know that it’s worth stirring the pot when what floats to the surface is crap.
Oh, but you must keep blogging. I love reading your blog. If privacy is a concern make it private and give the password to a select few.
Because I keep a private blog, too, I can’t really see turning this into another private one. I don’t know. I’m wrestling with it.
I hear you, and I’m really sorry that you’ve had asshats on your turf lately.
You have done a lovely thing here for two years? Great! Does ceasing to do that lovely thing make those two years any less lovely? Nope! I know that I was personally inspired to start my own homeschooling blog because of you, and to be out about some of MY opinions on things due to your example. Your legacy lives.
Maybe you spend more time reading and commenting on other blogs instead of writing in your own? Maybe you write a private blog, to share with your children someday, documenting your thoughts and process as their education continues? Maybe you (gasp) cut yourself some slack and do what feels right for your family without ’shoulding’ all over yourself?
Boo to the asshats, and hurray to you, whatever you decide today or ever. Thanks for what you have done here, and good luck!
I’m so sorry to hear that and know what you mean. I had that problem in the teeny, tiny insular community of one of the bases I lived on overseas (I still live overseas, but my attitude has changed to more of a f*** it one, since changing husbands as well).
The personally-nasty comments are the absolute worst, and I think all of us have endured it at one point or another; you definitely have my sympathy.
You have got to do what is right for you and your family. Sometimes it’s best to step back and let things settle for a while (that’s what I did when a blog post turned into a ridiculous controversy).
It’s also nice to change comment settings to “moderate”.
All comments from new or infrequent posters are on moderate. The only time I’ve ever had it on full moderate was during the t-shirt debacle.
The t-shirt debacle was how I found you! I’m in the fabric co-op run by the gal who made the t-shirt that you so roundly criticized. As a female engineer, I agreed with your take on it.
And I’ve followed you ever since.
I agree with the previous commenters, do what feels right for you and your family. I will tell you though, I have enjoyed having a place to talk/read about secular homeschooling. There aren’t that many of us, and there aren’t many places we can “hang out.” So, thank you for providing that space, and for the window into your life.
*hugs* I will be keeping tabs on what you decide, and wish you all the best. If you’re ever in Iowa, hit me up!
I’m really sorry a few asshats have made you feel unsafe. I just wanted to say I’ve enjoyed your blog and if you decided to retire from public blogging you will be missed. But of course, you must do what is best for you and your family.
Never let the arseholes get you down. I like reading your blog because it lets me know that I am not alone. A secular homeschooler that stresses academics, how refreshing. I live in a huge fundie area and can’t join homeschool groups for support even if I wanted to, so reading you and a few others gives me support. I hope that you don’t let a few silence you, but I understand that you have to do what it best for you.
Well that’s a bit of a bummer. Your blog posts were usually the highlight of my blog reading day – and really inspiring. But I also understand your reasons for wanting to back out and sympathize. Thanks for being the bright spot of snark in the homeschooling universe. (Also parting hilarity you might enjoy – my iPhone tried to change homeschooling to home hooking – hmm think those fundies would really go ballistic over that one)
I’m sorry, too, to see you phasing out this blog. I’ve been reading for maybe a year; you’ve been a lovely inspiration to my homeschooling and you’ve helped shape my approach to a number of issues. You’ve given me tons to think about & for that I am forever grateful. I get why you’re considering this – it’s the reason I’ve never gone public myself – but, damn! I hate to see the creeps win.
i certainly understand if you decide to discontinue this blog, but i would definitely be disappointed. i’m going into our first-grade year with my older kid. it would be nice to see secular, academic homeschooling blogs to help light my way, especially because i’m working full-time now and whatever opportunities i may have had to hang out with secular homeschoolers have been effectively reduced to nothing.
Adding my voice to the many…
I totally get it. Those concerns are exactly why I no longer blog, or share much on the internet at all. But I wanted to say that even though I only ever commented a few times, I always enjoyed reading here and will miss it (and patchfire too, who seems to also no longer be updating?) if you call it quits.
I wish I could find homeschoolers like you guys where I live.
All the best with whatever you decide to do blogwise!
Like everyone else, I’m sad. Your posts were a highlight of my blog reading. Just the other day, I was referencing a post of yours, because it was so good! But blogging is a labor of love and if you no longer get out of it what *you* need, then obviously you should move on. Good luck.
How sad. I have loved reading your blog. I find your blog quite funny and I love that you speak your mind. I do understand wanting to be private when others are not so nice. Good luck to you!
I’m really sorry to hear it, because I love your blog and appreciate the eloquence and humor you bring to the secular homeschooling community. But you don’t owe blogging to anyone, so of course you should stop if you need to. I’m sorry people said hurtful things.
I agree with all the above, and I’ll add that mean people suck. I just don’t get why people think it is ok to be nasty. Especially to strangers. Manners, people, manners. You can hold different opinions without being mean. Best wishes to you if you don’t continue, but I, like others, hope you do – yours is one of my favorite blogs and I’ve missed it over the summer!
I’m also a big fan of your blog but I do understand feeling the need to walk away. I’ve lost all desire to blog on my homeschooling blog and have even taken the posts down. If you don’t continue blogging I will miss reading your post, but I certainly understand.
If the question is, “Is it worth it for my readers?” then as I’m sure you can see, the answer is YES! But if you have to ask whether it is worth it for you personally, then perhaps that is a sign to take a break for now. Speaking from experience, I encourage you not to actually delete your blog. Though you feel burned out, vulnerable, and hurt at this moment, it’s very possible you’ll have a desire to resume some day… even if that day is 2 or 3 years from now. At some point, the mean people will have moved on, or you simply won’t give a rat’s @$% about them anymore (or hopefully both!)
I just want to say that if you do choose to leave, I’ll be so bummed that I never commented on your posts and became a “friend” (as much of a friend as one can become in this way, that is.) I have enjoyed getting to know your family through your blog. Your family and mine have much in common – 3 kids of similar ages; parents with similar values, ideals, and perspective on life. I especially have enjoyed reading about Babypie, as my youngest is just a bit younger than she is and it’s nice to know I’m not alone in the struggles of balancing a toddler with two older homeschoolers. You have made me laugh out loud on some of those really dark days – you know, the kind of day on which I question my sanity for ever thinking I could actually do this – and I would really like to thank you for the humor you have injected into my life at the times I needed it desperately! I’ve also gotten some great ideas and suggestions for curricula from your posts, and I appreciate those as well.
I wish you all the best and hope that you’ll stop in to post every now and then, even if it’s not so often.
Cheers, Kathleen
I don’t know what to say, except I’m sorry the assholes are getting you down. Like the others who have commented before me, I will be sad to see you go, should you decide to stop blogging. Yours was the first homeschool blog I started reading and I want let you know how much you’ve inspired me, made me laugh and made me think. Thank you.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling that way. You’ve got enough on your plate; you’ve got to have balance in your life, and if the negativity you’re experiencing is sapping your energy, of course I can understand why you’d post less. That said, you’re wonderfully funny and down-to-earth, which is why I read, so I hope things smooth out.
I haven’t been blogging at all, as you see. I’m up to my eyes in a writing project and haven’t blogged in months. But my blog doesn’t have your level of readership, so I don’t think it really matters.
Good luck figuring it all out. Add me to the list of readers who would be really sad if you stopped. It’s difficult to find hs blogs with a similar view on life as my own. And it’s crappy that some people think they can come here and spew all over it just because they do not agree.
Hope you decide to stay but totally understand why you wouldn’t.
I hear you re the privacy concerns and am sorry you have had to put up with crap from a few people. But I’ll be another sad panda if you stop blogging – I’ve been following you for a while and your posts are always so interesting and/or inspiring. If you decide to stop, fair enough. But if you just need a critical mass of readers begging you to keep at it, consider yourself grovelled at!
Well….this totally SUCKS!!! You are one of my fave homeschooling blogging mommas. There aren’t many of us homeschooling secularly and I admire your confident approach. I, like many others will really HATE to see you go. I understand the momma lion reflex to protect your family, but I selfishly beg you to reconsider. If you quit the blog, then you’ve let THEM win!! I’ve always admired your big, banging’ cojones! You go!
But I just found you!
Seriously, you’re a big inspiration as we start the homeschool journey this year, especially from that whole weirdos-among-weirdos angle that is homeschooling not-for-religious reasons. A secular, fun, down-to-earth voice of reason? It’s a treasure trove up in here. I would be sad to see you stop.
That said, assholes on the internet, I totally get. Gah. If you decide to stick around and encounter any, don’t hesitate to call out the troops to help put the smack down, down. This is your space, for cripe’s sake. I wouldn’t dream of going to someone’s personal blog and telling them they’re doing it wrong. Screw that noise. Geesh. Aren’t people busy enough?? I have lots of productive household maintenance sitting around undone if people need a hobby.
When I started my homeschooling blog, I said to myself, homescooling is one thing that being totally ignorant of it never prevented anyone from having an opinion about it! I decided that all the comments would be moderated. I’ve been doing it for a year and have yet to receive any negative comments. Of course, I also don’t get that many comments! Sometimes when I see homeschooling blogs that have a thousand followers, I wonder exactly what the secret is. Most look like those expensive Waldorf toy catalogs, full of pictures of stunning blonde children doing gorgeous crafts as sunlight streams through their art room, so idyllic and pastoral! “Aspirational” blogs. Then there are blogs like yours, full of brilliant writing and witty humor, that remind me that most of us don’t have perfect lives, and good humor is what keeps us going. Heck, sometimes humor is the ONLY thing that keeps us going. I often consciously decide not to post my thoughts on something because I don’t know who’s reading my blog or how they will feel about it. And by not being brave, I’m risking making my blog a much less compelling read.
The post where you said that there were some unschoolers who weren’t hippies, but the others ate them, has kept me laughing every time I think of it.
I just want to say THANK YOU for being so brave for so long. You’ve made a difference.
Sigh. I have really enjoyed your blog. I totally understand your reasons–I have never started a blog because privacy and other people’s bad behavior have concerned me. But in the rather (surprisingly and ironically) lockstep world of homeschooling I will truly miss your big, lovely, opinionated mouth.
(Said with all love and an wink…)
Just another blogger who you inspired. SmrtMama, you have taken on the controversial topics with bravery, confidence and articulation. I wish I had those talents. I often find myself thinking, “Yeah! Yeah, that. What she said!” And you do it all with humor.
I hear ya about the privacy concerns. A Mama’s gotta do what a Mama’s gotta do. Here to support whatever decision you make.
Peace,
Julie
Just popping back in to see if you’ve made a final decision…
Yikes. I found you too late. This has me spooked. I’m new to blogging. I hope the assholes don’t find me. I was figuring they would all stick together on their asshole sites and stay away from mine.
a little late – and I don’t have much to add to the other comments above – but I figure one can never hear too many good things, and we humans tend to be quicker to complain about bad things, so I try to remember to balance that out.
anyway, while of course you need to make the best decision for you and your family, I wanted to let you know that I have enjoyed reading your blog archives a lot. my one child is not old enough for any type of school, but I have been doing a lot of research on homeschooling and thus found your blog this past summer. it is sad that there are so many harsh and judgmental people out there, and the internet especially seems to bring out that side of people sometimes. thanks for all you have posted and best with whatever you do!