Lo, so many times doth I find myself declaring thusly, “This is why I homeschool!”
Today, at Olan Mills photography, the photographer argued with me over comma placement in the title on a photograph collage. The main picture was of all three of my beautiful, talented, and delightful children (whose behavior while Nana and I looked at photo proofs was such that they are lucky I did not devour them on the spot like a disgruntled hamster), with one small photo of Tank and Captain Science and one small photo of Babypie below. The collage was captioned “Captain Science, Tank & Babypie.”
I protested the lack of Oxford comma between “Tank” and “&” (the “&” was necessary in lieu of “and,” due to the length of Tank’s real name), only to have the photographer tell me, “No, that’s right. I thought it was supposed to be the way you’re saying it, but an English teacher was in here the other day and said this is the right way.”
I responded, “Well, I have a master’s degree in writing and editing. I can assure you that it’s supposed to have a comma,” then said to my mother, “This is why I homeschool!”
While it turned out to be a non-issue, as an additional comma wouldn’t fit on the line, I will not accept the dropping of the Oxford (or “serial”) comma simply because some English teacher says so. Dropping that comma may be acceptable in AP style, which is designed to minimize space, but dropping the serial comma is not otherwise acceptable to me. Unless the final two items are together (“peanut butter & jelly,” for instance, or even “Captain Science and Tank,” since they were in the same photograph, while Babypie was in her own), that comma belongs in that list.
But me no buts* about how this is acceptable in non-academic American written grammar, because Americans say and do many things that are an abject butchery of proper grammar and usage. American writers have become lazy, American grammarians have lost their spine, and American teachers are failing to impart a respect for proper punctuation in their students. If it’s good enough for Strunk and White, the MLA Style Manual and The Chicago Manual of Style, it’s good enough for me, and it should be good enough for you, dammit.
Yes, when Lynne Truss (author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves) talks about not getting between those on opposing sides of the Oxford comma issue when drink is involved, she is, in fact, talking about me.
Considering that most public schools use MLA writing guidelines, which advocate the use of the Oxford comma, the idea of a public school English teacher telling a photographer that the comma isn’t necessary incites me to a new level of grammatically righteous anger. I’ve tolerated too many notes (both from Captain Science’s old public school and Tank’s private preschool) that pluralized with an apostrophe or misused “to” and “too” (No! You do not have “to many volunteers!”). While I often have a playful relationship with English, I will not give up my commas without a fight!
*Neither Officer Daddyman nor Patchfire have heard the phrase “but me no buts.” They both thought it was a typo. I promise that it is not. Here is a nice article about the “X me no X’s” model.
Amen! You are speaking my language. I swear I’d give you a kiss right now if we were standing in the same room.
I would hug, kiss, and high-five you!
I have an inherent hatred of situations where said comma is dropped. It’s like putting toilet paper on the wrong way
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. It’s important that we’re on the same side of this comma issue.
Heck, I’m glad we are on the same side of the TP issue!
I just found your site earlier today and I’m in love! I’ve read three of your posts (and one was actually a guest post). I don’t think it’s too soon to declare my love, do you?
Anyway, I use that comma! I didn’t know it had it’s own name, but I use it. And I get comments about it being unnecessary! I’m keeping this post on speed dial, or whatever the blogging version of that is, so I can refer complaintants to it!
(I hope I used commas in the correct places!)
Always glad to have a new reader! How’d you find me?
Have you read Eats, Shoots & Leaves? It’s a wonderfully accessible grammar guide, one that I’m planning on using with my son as he gets a bit older.
You’ve heard the Vampire Weekend song, no?
I believe you’ve answered the question in Vampire Weekend’s song: Who gives a f*** about an Oxford comma? You do!
I do, at that!
I was always taught that “and” didn’t need a comma.
I was also taught that school lunches were healthy and boys didn’t have cooties.
Live and learn!
Boys definitely have cooties. I caught something from a boy THREE TIMES!
My favorite example of why we need the Oxford comma is this (probably apocryphal) book dedication:
“I’d like to thank my parents, God and Ayn Rand.”
I thank God that Ayn Rand isn’t one of my parents. Does that count?
Actually, that might be pretty cool. I’d love it if Ayn Rand’s daughter were out there saying, “yeah, my mom was full of crap. I can’t believe you people are taking her seriously.”
The half-divine liberal daughter of Ayn Rand? R0×0r!
Lol, Rivka.
I thought leaving out that comma was the British usage, but calling it an Oxford comma makes me wonder. Anyway, in these here parts, we need the comma!
I’m with Hapersmion — I thought leaving out the comma was the British usage. Admittedly, though, I learned this during a particularly vitriolic discussion on the old WTM boards; somehow during the discussion I also came to the conclusion that use of the comma was an essential part of certain religious beliefs, so it’s entirely possible that I’m confused on this point.
Yes, leaving out the comma is the British usage, but it’s still called the Oxford comma.
According to Wikipedia (the supreme
arbiter of everything lol) it is also referred to as the Harvard comma. I was taught at school that its use was Quite Norty, however these days I just use it or not, according to what will be easier to read and less ambiguous. I think there are far more important things to get in a lather about, such as the greengrocers’ apostrophe.
We don’t even have greengrocers in the States!
Did you mean that you dont have greengocer’s in the State’s?
I bet you still have those dang apostrophes though!
We don’t have the profession. We just call them “the guys at work at the grocery store.”
Yep on the comma.
My husband is a smart, smart man–but I can’t ever get him to put his punctuation inside the parentheses. Drives me nuts! He insists he’s right, and I insist I’m right, and round and round we go.
The US vs British placement of quotation marks is another hot topic. Punctuation inside? Punctuation outside? LIGHT THEM ON FIRE!
There is a sign at Walmart that makes me crazy. You will understand: It refers to nicotine lozenges as a “discrete oral form” of nicotine. It’s a professional sign printed by Nicorette or whomever, and it’s next to the pharmacy checkout, so I have to read it. I want to attack it with white-out.
Perhaps the oral form is quite separated from the nicotine?
eh, serial commas when appropriate. mandatory usage is not a feature in english, even american english.
and there certainly are greengrocers in the america. not as common as before the current era of ’supermarket’ hegemony, but still around, especially in large urban areas. there is even a (non-official) state greengrocer of GA, a gentleman by the name of Curtis Aikens. google before you gleep (g, d, and r
Hear, hear! (Or hear, hear, and hear!) And I must say that learning that it’s called an oxford comma makes me feel even more smarter-than-thou for still using it!