Smrt Lernins

Ten days, y’all. Ten more freaking days! I’m so excited, I could practically piddle on the rug.

This week, Captain Science went back and redid a few lessons from Paragraph Town using his other reading as the subject matter. He finished (finally, Mr. Dawdler!) reading Wind in the Door and Nordic Gods and Heroes. He completed several sentences in Practice Town.

Officer Daddyman and Captain Science worked together on some algebra word problems of Daddyman’s devising. Captain Science is greatly looking forward to starting Life of Fred: Beginning Algebra, now that he has a little taste of that kind of math. Algebra was always my favorite mathematical subject, so I’m excited about it, too!

Captain Science has advanced to the next set of piano books and continues to show a natural talent for it. He’s working with 8th notes and runs, and is also doing a little jazz, which is fun to hear! Two hours a week is a lot of piano lesson, but I think the time investment is going to pay off in the long run.

Our co-op is about done. Brain class is over (and none too soon, as tempers have been flaring and the last class involved Eclectic Girl calling Captain Science a hoarder, and Captain Science calling Eclectic Girl a stealer, neither of which is true), game class will continue with no foreseeable end, and the short story class will only have one more meeting together. Along with writing, the students have learned about editing, submitting drafts to magazines and journals, and writing contests. I wish Captain Science had been willing to invest more time in working on his story, as I’m having a hard time getting a good full-length draft from him, but he’s not the only one in the class balking at it a bit. I think we’ll take a step back and let him work on it more over the summer.

Physics lab was pretty much the same-ol’, same-ol’. At least Captain Science and Eclectic Girl didn’t squabble, right?

Captain Science did a ton of poetry work this week, since we didn’t get much done in Building Poems last week. He covered limericks, creating his own stanzas, metaphor, simile, apostrophe, and personification this week, writing poems for each topic. The following are his personification and apostrophe poems, which he decided to combine together in this format:

Sun and Moon

I.
The sunlight shines upon the sea
his goal is to light everything.
While lighting up the other side
the moon illuminates the tides.
For many years they battled far,
but now they always share the earth.

II.
O, brightest sun, you hottest light
begins the day and stops the night.
Yet O great moon, your noble rays
shall make much beauty and end the day.
For many aeons you two have fought
but at this time you battle not.

I’m sure you can imagine how proud I am of him!

As we reach the end of our school year (10 days left after tomorrow), I no longer feel like I’m homeschooling so much as racing. Will we manage to finish the last of the curricula by the end of the school year, or will it dribble over into summer, throwing off the whole rhythm of everything? Each day is a race to finish another book, another subject, so that summer can be a clean start.

With each book Captain Science completed, I experience a deep sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. It’s not just about another check-marked box on a list (though it’s a little bit about that, as well), but about knowing that we’ve done a subject from beginning to end, that we’ve truly completed the first year of homeschooling (rather than just futzing around until we hit day 180). Making it to the end of the year with something still unfinished, unless it was specifically scheduled to be unfinished, would feel–perhaps unreasonably–like a small failure. I set goals and I want them completed.

Every day is a race. Life of Fred: Decimals and Percents, we manage to put to bed a couple of months ago, pulling it out for review and working on math concepts independently of curricula in the interim. Captain Science finally finished Paragraph Town last week, though he has gone back and redone a couple of lessons in that. Our brain class with Patchfire is completely. The only thing left in the writing class is making corrections to the drafts and mailing them off for submission. Game class has become more of a game club, without a need for an end-date.

Now, we’re chugging along with Building Poems, trying to wrap that up. Ideally, the only book that we will carry with us through the summer is Caesar’s English I, which I never intended us to finish by the end of the year. Far too many lessons for that, no matter how fast Captain Science seems to be zooming through it. This will keep the vocabulary fresh in his head for starting Latin (and Caesar’s English II) in the fall.

Ten days, five of which will not be managed by me, as I leave the boys in the capable hands of Officer Daddyman and the Nana, whilst I jet off to Chicago to doula for my best friend’s first birth. Five more academic days in which to wrap it all up and put it to bed for the school year. I don’t feel ready for this! This year has been such an adventure and a challenge.

Surely I’m not the only one with a deep seated need to have everything neatly wrapped up by the end of the year. How does it work for y’all? Do you leave curricula hanging to next school year? Not finish the school year until everything is finished? Do tell, do tell!

Amelia asks, “If you’re going to homeschool for preschool next year, what will that look like? Will it look different from the usual parenting of a preschooler?”

We’re definitely home preschooling next year. We haven’t re-enrolled Tank in his current preschool and he’s quite excited about “doing homework” (he used to call it “table learnin’”) with Captain Science and (more importantly, to him) with Patchfire’s Fabulous Boy, whom Tank swears he is going to either grow up to marry or to crush (with requisite iron-fist-of-Stalin crushing hand gesture). Even if we didn’t have plans to homeschool Tank, we’d have to start doing something during Captain Science’s school time, because Tank wants so badly to be homeschooled, too.

Another reason I want to homeschool is to make sure Tank doesn’t have gaps in his basic knowledge. Because Captain Science was so bright in most areas (he was reading at 2), his teachers either didn’t notice that he didn’t have certain important skills or thought that, because he was so gifted in other areas, he would either catch up or the skills weren’t that important. As a result, Captain Science never really learned how to hold scissors properly or cut well, to hold a pencil correctly, or to trace a straight line. It’s been an uphill battle to instill those skills in my now-9-year-old. I don’t want Tank to end up the same way, so I’ve carefully compiled a list of skills I want to make sure he has, and will address each of them in turn.

While any of the skills we’re planning on working on next year could be taught through the informal daily routine of parenting, Tank will have a short instructional period every school day to work on these concepts more formally.

We’ll start with the cheap and simple, using Kumon workbooks for the basic skills like tracing and cutting. We might also use them for some beginning math skills. Tank is already pretty good with numbers and does simple arithmetic using fingers or objects. We’ll probably also find some “fun” math activities to do with him.

On the recommendation of several homeschooling friends, I’ll be using The Ordinary Parent’s Guide to Teaching Reading, which is co-authored by one of the authors of The Well-Trained Mind, for teaching phonics and other reading skills. I’m also considering getting the flashcards that go with this book. We have a magnet board and a fairly good collection of magnet letters, so as much as the idea of something like this magnetic phonics teaching set appeals to me, we’ll probably stick with the letters we have.

Something I am going to put in the formal schedule, just to make sure I don’t put it by the wayside, is art. Tank loves all arts and crafts. He loves to paint, draw, glue, model, and make ridiculous projects out of various substances. Patchfire and I have talked about doing art class with our small boys, so that will satisfy both Tank’s need to have a class with FB and my need to make sure he has art regularly.

I’m also going to make sure I address some of those things that he might otherwise miss as a homeschooled student, things like knowing his parents’ names, address, phone number, and how to react in a fire or other emergency.

The most noticeable difference between days where I’m home preschooling and the days when I’m just parenting a preschooler will be that he will feel like he’s having school time. I don’t have to keep records or worry about him making tremendous academic strides, but I can give him a way to be closer with Captain Science and feel included.

That’s how the [Smrt] Homeschooler plans to do preschooling at home!

Do you have a question for the [Smrt] Homeschooler? Email them to
smrtmama@smrtlernins.com

Once upon a time, there was a mom named Smrt Mama, with three lovely children, one of whom was unhappily public-schooled. She was miserable, her child was miserable, but she lacked the self-confidence and knowledge to make the leap to homeschooling. She was homeschool-curious, but didn’t know where to start, how to start, if to start.

Then there was Patchfire, and she was good. She placed The Well Trained Mind into Smrt Mama’s hand. She walked Smrt Mama and Officer Daddyman through curricula and scheduling. She gave Smrt Mama books on the philosophical workings of homeschooling. She gave Smrt Mama curricula to get started. She answered questions with infinite patience and she agreed to teach science classes to Captain Science.

One day, Patchfire fell in love with a house. The house was beautiful, had many bedrooms, had a completely finished basement with full second kitchen, and, miracle of miracles, was in the neighborhood right behind Smrt Mama’s. The children could walk to each other’s houses. Smrt Mama and Patchfire could co-op chickens (at Smrt Mama’s, on her half-acre) and vegetables (at Patchfire’s, in her flat, sunny, already-garden-plotted backyard) together. The house was perfect in every way, and Patchfire and Smrt Mama rejoiced.

Now there is but once catch: Patchfire’s old house must sell so that she and all the Mitnens (that’s what we call them, since Tank says “Mitnen” for Mister and Missus, and they’re Mitnen Ham and Mitnen Tash) can move into The House of All Things Good.

Here is what Smrt Mama needs from you: She needs you to pray, light candles, vibrate on a higher frequency, send positive thoughts out into the universe, or just plain old think good thoughts for Patchfire and the rest of the Mitnens to sell their house quickly and easily, so that they can move into the house that’s just through the woods from my house.

I love Patchfire. I (in a very platonic way) love her husband. I adore her children. My children adore her children. My husband likes them all is his stolith* manly cop way. She must be within walking distance of me. This is absolutely imperative. Please send the Great Universal/Divine Love her way.

*My awesome Japanese friend Ai made up this word. We think it means a cross between stoic and stolid. She says, “The Japanese are so stolith. They don’t know how to have any fun.”

I love watching Captain Science and Babypie playing together. Right now, he’s trying to teach her the parts of her face, but she’s not exactly cooperating.

Captain Science says, “Where’s Babypie’s nose?” Babypie points to her nose.

Captain Science says, “Where’s Babypie’s eyes?” Babypie points to her eyes.

Captain Science says, “Where’s Babypie’s ears?” Babypie flaps her hands vaguely in the area of her ears.

Captain Science says, “Where’s Babypie’s mouth?” Babypie stares at him.

Captain Science over-enunciates, “Where’s Babypie’s mouth?” Babypie continues staring at him.

Smrt Mama says, “Where’s your hair?” Babypie cuts her eyes over to Captain Science, grins, then points to her mouth.

Captain Science says, “Where’s your mouth?” Babypie grins even bigger, laughs, and points at her hair.

Captain Science says, “Where’s your chin?”

Babypie says, “No.”

That was the end of that particular game.

I’m making some changes to Smrt Lernins to make it a little more user-friendly:

I will be making some additional changes over the coming weeks, but if you have any suggestions of things that could make the Smrt Lernins blog experience better for you, please let me know!

The Tank has entered the next developmental phase in his art, adding hands, feet, and ears. That does not, of course, mean that he’s no longer including guns for fighting “enemies, bad guys, and bosses.” All the big dark blobs in the picture are various weapons that fire various substances, including “lavity,” which is like lava, only more powerful.

The angry rabbit-looking guy in the middle is my favorite. I want to call him Ralph. He looks like he’s giving a thumbs up, but he isn’t. That’s a gun.

Here is the artist himself, wearing his zebra head band from Zany Zebra Day (don’t ask). He’s also wearing his “specialty shorts.” Note the strategically placed smiley face sticker on the crotch. Yeah, I couldn’t explain that, either.

I haven’t done a weekly update in a while. It felt too much like same-old, same-old.

We have only 15 days left in our school yet, and I won’t be here for the last five of them. Nana will be moderating the final week, while I jet off to Chicago to doula for our most precious and beloved Auntie D, godmother to my children and my best friend of 15+ years.

What have we been up to lately?

Well, Captain Science has reviewed some mathematics, doing a lovely job of demonstrating continued mastery of skills with another pass at the Life of Fred: Decimals and Percents final bridge. He’s also been working on some basic algebra concepts with Officer Daddyman, in preparation for this summer’s foray into algebra. I look forward to starting Life of Fred: Beginning Algebra.

Captain Science has finished Paragraph Town, though we’re going back and redoing a few lessons, using history texts as the writing topics. He’s continued to do work in Practice Town, keeping all those excellent language arts skills fresh in his mind. He’s written several excellent essays lately, including the introduction to a story about a revival of the Roman empire and an essay about Thor. He has also done some work in Building Poems.

History-wise, he has pretty much finished the stack of books on the Vikings, which is good, as they’ll be overdue if we don’t return them soon! He seemed to really enjoy the mythology and learning about longships and raiding parties. This wraps up the history we’re doing this year, as we’ll start ancient history of Asia, Africa, and the Americas in the fall. I want him to add the Norse gods to his pantheon project, which we’ll start wrapping up next week!

Science has continued to be all, you know, scienc-y. They’ve done some physics labs. This week, as Earth Day fell on science lab day, Patchfire had Captain Science and Eclectic Girl calculate their carbon footprint. Captain Science and I talked about ways we could reduce our carbon footprint, using examples like replacing store-bought beef with the locally raised beef we’ve been eating. The brain class is still loads of fun. They’ve made brain hats (a model of the brain to wear on their heads), have watched videos, have done neuron activities and short-term memory activities. Wait, what were we talking about?

Our co-op classes are starting to wind down for the semester. I’ve enjoyed them so much! The writing students are turning in completed drafts for me to edit. We’ve talked about the process of submitting written works to magazines, journals, and contests. The plan is to finish in the next two weeks or so, with submittable manuscripts for all the children. We’ll mail everything off on the last day of class. I hope someone gets something published!

Captain S has also done some work in his logic book and in a few other areas. His co-op board game class has proven to be one of his favorite things. Their food fight game is hilarious!

Wow! I can’t believe we’re almost done for the year. It’s gone by so fast.

Lo, so many times doth I find myself declaring thusly, “This is why I homeschool!”

Today, at Olan Mills photography, the photographer argued with me over comma placement in the title on a photograph collage. The main picture was of all three of my beautiful, talented, and delightful children (whose behavior while Nana and I looked at photo proofs was such that they are lucky I did not devour them on the spot like a disgruntled hamster), with one small photo of Tank and Captain Science and one small photo of Babypie below. The collage was captioned “Captain Science, Tank & Babypie.”

I protested the lack of Oxford comma between “Tank” and “&” (the “&” was necessary in lieu of “and,” due to the length of Tank’s real name), only to have the photographer tell me, “No, that’s right. I thought it was supposed to be the way you’re saying it, but an English teacher was in here the other day and said this is the right way.”

I responded, “Well, I have a master’s degree in writing and editing. I can assure you that it’s supposed to have a comma,” then said to my mother, “This is why I homeschool!”

While it turned out to be a non-issue, as an additional comma wouldn’t fit on the line, I will not accept the dropping of the Oxford (or “serial”) comma simply because some English teacher says so. Dropping that comma may be acceptable in AP style, which is designed to minimize space, but dropping the serial comma is not otherwise acceptable to me. Unless the final two items are together (“peanut butter & jelly,” for instance, or even “Captain Science and Tank,” since they were in the same photograph, while Babypie was in her own), that comma belongs in that list.

But me no buts* about how this is acceptable in non-academic American written grammar, because Americans say and do many things that are an abject butchery of proper grammar and usage. American writers have become lazy, American grammarians have lost their spine, and American teachers are failing to impart a respect for proper punctuation in their students. If it’s good enough for Strunk and White, the MLA Style Manual and The Chicago Manual of Style, it’s good enough for me, and it should be good enough for you, dammit.

Yes, when Lynne Truss (author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves) talks about not getting between those on opposing sides of the Oxford comma issue when drink is involved, she is, in fact, talking about me.

Considering that most public schools use MLA writing guidelines, which advocate the use of the Oxford comma, the idea of a public school English teacher telling a photographer that the comma isn’t necessary incites me to a new level of grammatically righteous anger. I’ve tolerated too many notes (both from Captain Science’s old public school and Tank’s private preschool) that pluralized with an apostrophe or misused “to” and “too” (No! You do not have “to many volunteers!”). While I often have a playful relationship with English, I will not give up my commas without a fight!

*Neither Officer Daddyman nor Patchfire have heard the phrase “but me no buts.” They both thought it was a typo. I promise that it is not. Here is a nice article about the “X me no X’s” model.