Smrt Lernins

I belong to a group on Facebook called I homeschool and I teach the science of evolution.

The group was previously called “I homeschool and I believe in evolution,” but there was dissent amongst members and potential members over the word “believe.” Evolution isn’t something that someone needs to believe in. There’s no element of faith involved. Evolution is an evidence-based scientific theory. Saying you believe in evolution is like saying you believe in gravity, relativity, or germs. A few possible name options were bandied about, but “I homeschool and I teach the science of evolution” was the overall favorite and most of the members seemed quite happy with it.

Then, of course, enter that handful of we’re-never-happy-unless-it’s-100%-our-way unschoolers (you know…those unschoolers. Not the “we’re following our child’s natural pattern of learning” unschoolers, or the “I let me child direct the course of his education” unschoolers, but the “I’d rather be illiterate than have had my parents teach me to read” Doddist unschoolers) with their panties in a twist over the use of the word “teach.”

Yes, “teach.”

“Teach,” you see, is a big, bad word among a particular subset of unschoolers. These unschoolers do not “teach.” Never, ever, ever. They lead such enriched and depth-filled lives that their children all learn exactly what they need to learn through their vibrant social lives or it wasn’t important enough to learn to begin with. The use of the word “teach” in the group name was apparently offensive enough that several unschoolers (probably the ones my friend Heather calls the “radical XTREME unschoolers”) left the group.

Complaints about the new name included:

“I don’t teach anything, I support my children as they explore their passions and interests.”

“We don’t *teach* our kids[...]We fill their lives with rich experiences, and they reach their own conclusions.”

“I’m uncertain if we ‘teach’ any of the subjects. We facilitate.”

Really? Really? You know what that sounds like? A group of people finding the most circumlocutious way possible to say they teach without ever actually using the word “teach.” And what exactly is so wrong with “teach,” anyway? Let’s take a look at the dictionary entry for the little word:

1. To impart knowledge or skill to: teaches children.

Hmm…imparting knowledge to your child. Sounds dangerously similar to telling your child how to think. Yes, I can see why that might be threatening to the [radical XTREME] unschooler.

2. To provide knowledge of; instruct in: teaches French.

Well, “providing” knowledge doesn’t sound as bad as “imparting,” but you’re still thrusting all that knowledge upon your children when they might not want it.

3. To condition to a certain action or frame of mind: teaching youngsters to be self-reliant.

Aha! We have stumbled upon it. Conditioning your child? Conditioning is what Pavlov did with dogs, and your child isn’t a dog, right? Teaching is practically like making your child drool at the dinging of a bell. Horrifying!

4. To cause to learn by example or experience: an accident that taught me a valuable lesson.

But…but…wait a minute! I thought [radical XTREME] unschoolers wanted their children to learn by example or experience. Isn’t that what unschooling is supposed to be about? I thought it was about natural learning, modeling, learning contextually, learning through life experience and all that jazz. If “teach” can mean “cause to learn by example,” why would unschooler have a problem with that word? Now I’m really confused. It must be a product of my public school education’s failure to “teach” me how to understand crazy people on the internet.

Not all (or even most) unschoolers are coocoo for Cocoa Puffs on Facebook, of course. Most of the unschooling members of the group were very supportive of the name change. One unschooler even pointed out that, “Someone better go tell Holt (from my understanding, the person who coined the term ‘unschooling’) to change the name of his book, “Teach Your Own” since the word “teach” is bothering so many unschoolers here.” Virtual fist-bump, sensible unschooler.

I’d like to say something to those unschooloonies who gasp and clutch their pearls over the use of the word “teach.” You may hate the word, but you’ve inadvertently taught me something very valuable today: You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time, because some of the people are just plain ridiculous.

*That’s what the Tank calls it.

Daisy asks, “In light of the recent news articles about homeschooling families who have flown under the radar and abused their children, do you think there should be more government oversight of homeschooling?”

My experiences haven’t convinced me that either system is worse or better for protecting children from (or leaving them subject to) child abuse as a whole.

I don’t think homeschooling is to blame for this. Not in the slightest. I think officially enrolling a child in homeschooling may provide a simpler means in the long term of hiding extensive child abuse, but a public or private family could easily withdraw their student from the school in the name of moving (to another school, district, town, or state) and just not re-enroll — most states don’t have the resources to follow up with every student, especially if that child isn’t using any government services that would keep him/her fresh on their radar.

Children enrolled in public or private school are victims of abuse every day, too. It goes unnoticed or unreported. Children can fall through the cracks anywhere, long absences can be excused, transient families can easily slip out of the sight and minds of the school system. Just because a system is full of mandated reporters, it doesn’t mean that they will notice the abuse. It doesn’t mean that they will take it seriously even if they do. I went to public school with an individual who was abused extensively (both sexually and physically) by a parent throughout the time we attended school together. I had no idea and I don’t think most of the teachers did, either. Until we install cameras or human monitors in every family’s home (homeschooling or public schooling) for 24-hour “oversight,” we can’t catch every incident of abuse.

The important common factor I’ve noticed in many of these deaths is not that the children are schooled at home, but that the parents adhere to a strict set of religious beliefs, keep themselves isolated from anyone outside their insular religious community (in fact, they’re encouraged to cut themselves off from people with differing beliefs who might lead them astray), and follow supposedly Bible-based parenting “guides” such as To Train Up a Child by the heartless, conscience-less, and utterly godless (beyond a belief in their own righteousness) creatures, the Pearls.

Religious extremism and blind obeisance to a dangerous parenting method killed those children, not homeschooling. Those same crimes, committed under the instruction of the Pearls’ books, could have been perpetrated by the parents if their children had been enrolled in private religious schools. They could have been perpetrated on children enrolled in public school, though I think it’s unlikely that these parents would have enrolled their children in public school. Government oversight of homeschooling wouldn’t have changed the fact that these parents believed God wanted them to beat their children until they obeyed perfectly and cheerfully. The Pearls specifically instruct parents to beat their children with 1/4 inch flexible PVC pipe, because it hurts, but the marks fade quickly. Child abusers often develop methods to disguise the abuse they are committing and the Pearls teach parents how to be meticulous child abusers…and that the only way they can be right with God and raise godly children is through systematically breaking the child. Unfortunately, some children aren’t broken as easily as others, so the beatings continue.

You know where government oversight might help? Through investigation of the dangerous cult of child abuse led by the Pearls (or other churches espousing child abuse). I was shocked that they were NOT listed on the SPLC’s “Hate Group” watch list, because the Pearls clearly hate children. They also hate women, but they seem to view women as large children who need the same degree of abuse and mastery. You want to reduce the number of deaths in homeschooled children? Start investigating the churches that hold TTUAC “parenting” classes (I use “parenting” in quotes because it’s more like “prison guarding” than parenting). Look for the churches that are telling their congregation that the only way to be right with God is through frequent application of the “rod.” Look for the families that are gobbling up the advice to beat their children as a path to righteousness. The parents who believe their child should be beaten until she pronounces a word correctly (because Michael Pearls says that sort of willfulness deserves a beating) will beat their child whether she’s in public school, private school, or homeschool. If the government can investigate the FLDS community because of potential child abuse, surely they could investigate the Cult of Michael Pearl. They can investigate child abuse if someone reports it. REPORT IT! There’s even a precedent for investigating churches/pastors who are espousing child abuse. You CAN investigate the church and its leaders if that church is telling you to break the law…or break your child.

Most homeschoolers (religious or secular) do not beat their children and many, many abused children are attending school within the public system. Oversight applied to all homeschoolers won’t catch this abuse, because abusers are often sneaky. They’re careful. Do you think that a child will be covered in bruises on check-in day? Of course not. Pearl-trained/abused children are squeaky clean and perfectly polite when they’re marched out for company. If you want to stop these abuse death, you have to go to the source. Stop the abusers from teaching other parents how to abuse. If you belong to a church that espouses the Pearl methods, speak up against the wrongness and danger of these methods. If your church is considering starting Pearl (or Ezzo, or other religiously-based child abuse classes) speak up. Say, “NO, this is NOT the way to God! This is the way to kill or seriously injure your child.” If they continue with the classes, keep your eyes peeled for signs of abuse and turn the abusers in in. You may not be a legally-mandated reporter, but you are a morally-obligated one.

Our 2010 census came today and I couldn’t be more excited. So much in my life has changed since 2010 and so many answers are different for me. In 2000, I was unmarried (still had my maiden name), cohabitating with Captain Science’s Y-chromosomal donor (who misidentified his race on the census in order to perpetuate a series of lies he’d told me), was just pregnant with Captain Science (I don’t think I even knew it yet), had never given birth and had no children living with us (we had my ex’s older children every other weekend), lived in an apartment (one-bedroom, rundown, trashed).

Captain Science and the Tank were very interested in the census, so we decided to fill it out as a family activity. We talked for a while about what the census is so important — that it’s a way of counting people, of knowing what kinds of people lived in the United States, what kind of families people had, whether an area needed more schools or more police or more roads. They seemed to grok what a bunch of adults couldn’t, that the census is how we understand our nation’s size and diversity, not some sort of sinister way of prying into our personal lives.

Since I was the one filling it out, I was “Person 1″ for the sake of the census. I asked the questions, and the boys gave me the answers…loudly. We had some initial squabbling when the Tank insisted my first name was “Mama” and Captain Science kept telling him it wasn’t, but we ironed that out pretty quickly.

We discussed what “sex” means (as in one’s biological sex). What is male? What is female? What sex is Person 1? The Tank initially thought I might be male, because “male” and “Mama” both start with a “M” sound, but he agreed I am a girl or woman, so if “female” means girl or woman, that must mean I am female. The Tank also thought my age was “eighty-ninety,” which is his catch-all term for old. Nope, sorry kid. Only thirty!

Next up, whether or not I am of Hispanic or Spanish descent. Captain Science wasn’t sure why that might be relevant. I asked him what language our family might speak if we were Hispanic or Spanish in origin (answer: “Spanish?”), and explained that if there was a chance our family spoke Spanish, there’s a chance we might need Spanish-language services. If we spoke Spanish in our home and called the police, we might need someone there to understand us.

Next question: race. Both boys were quick to guess “white” for my race (which is accurate), but I still read the whole list of possible races. The census has many, many options for race, with the obligatory “other.” I explained that you didn’t have to just pick one race, either, because many people have family from different races and ethnicities. They thought it was great that you could pick all of those options. We talked about whether our individual worth would change if our race were different, and they agreed that it would not. We talked about whether we’d still be beautiful people if our race were different, and they agreed that people of all races were beautiful, and thought it was really neat how many different kinds of people live in the United States.

The Tank was a little confused by the question asking if we stayed or lived somewhere else, because we’d just returned from a week of being taken care of by my mother while I was dealing with the worst part of my pneumonia. He thought we might live there a little bit, too.

After we finished Person 1, we did Person 2 (Daddy). They thought it was silly that he would be listed as my husband or wife and that I couldn’t just pick one option. They answered that he was male, that he was the same age as me, that he wasn’t Hispanic, that he was white, etc. So on and so forth for Persons 3-5, with the one exception of the Tank guessing that Babypie was my husband. Weird.

We discussed the difference between “biological son or daughter” and “adoptive son or daughter.” For each of the kids, I asked, “Did you come out of my uterus?” and the boys would say, “Yes!” After Babypie’s questions, the Tank became very excited and yelled, “Captain Science, me, and Babypie all came out of the same place!” Yes, yes you did.

After Persons 1-5 were completed, we sealed up the envelope. It took all of ten minutes and that’s with the help of the boys. Now we are counted. We’re part of our national numbers. That’s no small thing.

This is the only census we’ll likely take with all of us together, in one home full-time. By the next census, Captain Science will probably be off to college. By the one after that, we might even be empty nesters. A lot changes in 10 years and those changes matter.

Do you count?

I’ll try not to be egotistical enough to think you’re actually wondering where Smrt Mama might be and why I haven’t posted anything new lately. I’m slowly recovering from a bad case of pneumonia, which I developed over the previous weekend after a bout with the flu. Hooray for secondary infections! Luckily, I didn’t die, though I certainly considered it at one point, when I was lying on my brother’s tiled bathroom floor, after having coughed until I puked, hallucinating that I was in a walrus cage being tied up in black tethers in hooks by a team of men in SWAT gear. It was a new low.

We’re taking the week off from school, because I’m not fit to teach a school of fish right now. Hopefully, I’ll be back in the saddle in no time, or that what my giant designer antibiotics and awesome codeine cough syrup promise me. Blanche DuBois may have depended upon the kindness of strangers, but I depend on the kindness of my family (who have cared for my kids while I recover) and the tolerance of my loyal readers (have y’all considered therapy? Because really, you have to be crazy to still be hanging in here with me!).

This week started with academics and ended with the flu, so we didn’t get much done this week.

The highlight of the week was Captain Science finishing Life of Fred: Decimals and Percents on Wednesday. We’re going to kill a little time w/ some other types of math, then get the next books on payday. If only we could buy them locally!

The lowlight was that we’re still butting heads over history writing. I need to find a way to get us back on track w/ that, but can’t really figure out how. We’ve pretty much wrapped up pre-Roman, Roman-era, and post-Roman Britain, so after we’re back from our field trip/vacation, we’re starting w/ the Vikings, I think. Need to plot my lesson plan out a little more carefully and try to find ways of making writing more enticing.

Captain Science got 100% on his next review quiz of Caesar’s English. No writing or poetry this week, because of the flu.

Co-op was canceled on account of snow. Seriously! Snow! That’s twice this year (for the snow, not the co-op cancelation).

There really isn’t all that much else to report. We’re off on our field trip this weekend, so I’m looking forward to reporting back on Captain Science’s exciting education about MMORPG design!

I love it when I can start my Secular Thursday off with a story about dinosaurs. Scientists have discovered multiple 243 million year old Asilisaurus skeletons*, enough to assemble a complete skeleton. If you want to get technical, this Labrador-sized creature (which lived during the middle Triassic period) is a silesaur, another member of the clade dinosauriform, so more like a cousin to the guys we call dinosaurs. Still, dinosaurs and silesaurs existed simultaneously, springing from a common ancestor, so if silesaurs existed earlier than originally thought (by about 10 million years, by scientist’s estimations), their dinosaur cousins likely did, as well.

Now, “clade” is a fun word. It refers to a branch on the tree of life and includes the ancestor and all of its descendants. Cladistics is one way of studying/classifying the diversification of life of Earth through looking at evolutionary relation. The diagram demonstrating cladistics is called a cladogram, and it’s pretty nifty-keen in that it can show the origins and derivations of pretty much everything, or at least everything related, neatly laid out so that you can see what came likely from where (or who) based on shared derived characteristics.

Cladograms don’t indicate how much time has passed, just the relation between species, which makes it a useful tool in demonstrating evolutionary concepts to children. Explaining evolution to (especially younger) children can be tricky, in my experience, because children’s understanding of time is fairly limited. Trying to conceptualize time relations between species and understand tiny changes over millions of years is confusing to a kid who still think of his years in halves. Cladograms just show the probable order of speciation, like a family tree, which kids don’t seem to have a problem understanding.

If you want to look at something really cool (though now out of date, because science…always updating and changing as we develop better tools and find more clues!), you should take a look at this dinosaur cladogram completed in 2001. The way this tool can be useful for your kids isn’t because it has an up-to-date degree of accuracy (too many discoveries sticking other creatures in between the ones list), but because it does provide an interesting visual way to track how creatures change over time. The simple dino silhouettes will probably much a lot more sense that a text-only “family tree” of evolution, plus, what kid doesn’t love dinosaurs (probably some kids, but mine aren’t among them)?

If you’d like to read more about the Asilisaurus, you might enjoy one of the articles from Discover magazine or Wired. I’m sure you want to read more about this herbivorous lap dog of the Triassic period!

Nice looking guy, isn’t he?

*Sterling J. Nesbitt, Christian A. Sidor, Randall B. Irmis, Kenneth D. Angielczyk, Roger M. H. Smith & Linda A. Tsuji. “Ecologically distinct dinosaurian sister group shows early diversification of Ornithodira” Nature 464, 95-98 (4 March 2010) | doi:10.1038/nature08718; Received 16 September 2009; Accepted 1 December 2009

Captain Science has been doing better at math than I expected. Due to swift passing of the last few bridges, we’ve arrived at the final bridge of Life of Fred: Decimals and Percents and I don’t have the next book(s) yet! Yikes! I’m not sure Patchfire and Eclectic Girl have finished w/ Beginning Algebra yet, either, so we don’t have any math to do once he passes this bridge.

On a positive note, I’m taking him up to my brother’s house from Saturday through Tuesday of next week for his tour of Icarus Studios, so I could more order books and have them arrive while I’m gone, in theory. The real issue here is that his completion of the book took me unawares, and the onus of that falls on me for not paying close enough attention. I thought he had one more regular bridge and a few more chapters before the final bridge. Oops.

I guess I could pick up some review stuff (like the Key To… series) to help fill the gap until EG has finished w/ Beginning Algebra, but that would require going to Scary JesusBook Store. Hmm….decisions, decisions.

Attention North Metro Atlanta area homeschoolers! Patchfire and I are organizing a Pi Day celebration on March 14th (obviously), at 2pm at Swift-Cantrell Park in Kennesaw.

Bring your favorite Π-themed foods and activities to celebrate that magical irrational number! Pi-shaped cookies? Pumpkin Pi? Bring nibblies to share!

Because we are fair-weather friends, this is a fair-weather event and will be canceled in the event of rain, slushy GA snow, tornado, or any other bizarre meteorological events.

Those of you on Facebook can RSVP here.

If you aren’t in our area, you can organize your own Pi Day event for your local homeschoolers.

Daisy asks, “How do you keep Babypie busy (and Tank when he is home) while you are teaching?”

Babypie is an uncommonly easy baby, so entertaining her has not been a problem thus far. She’s happy to wander around, nibble on a snack, play with her toys, and just generally observe our school lessons. The biggest problem with Babypie isn’t that she is herself distracting, but that Captain Science is often distracted by her. He loves her so much, and if he so much as looks at her, she always gives him the biggest, hammiest grins, which means he’ll keep smiling and talking to her instead of doing his work. This can be a problem.

The solution has been to set up multiple work areas for different needs. We have our school room, where my computer, the books, and homeschool materials all live. The desk has chairs on both sides so Captain Science and I can both sit at it. This is my base of operations, where I explain the lessons, go over the work (pointing out things that need correction or asking Captain Science to explain how he came to certain answers/conclusions), or do discussion/instruction portions of work. When Captain Science needs to read without Babypie milling about the same room, or if he needs room to spread out materials (science labs at home, for example), he goes into the gated kitchen to work at the table. When he needs a quiet place to work on math, grammar, writing, etc., he goes down to the roll-top desk we have set up in the craft room on the basement level. The desk is tucked around a corner so there’s not a direct line of sight to upstairs (he can’t see what the smalls are doing, they can’t see and bother him) and it muffles the sound a bit. That works really well and allows him to get work done with varying levels of family interaction as needed.

The Tank is…well, more of an issue. The main day he’s home during intense instruction is Friday, so I have to work hard to make sure he isn’t bothering Captain Science. I sometimes set him up with a movie or show on the opposite level of the house from where Cpt. Science is working. Sometimes I send him up to his room or down to the playroom for a while. When all else fails, he will happily sit at a table with markers and color on paper, himself, or the table. He’s easy to keep busy for short periods of time, but he likes something never every 15-30 minutes. Luckily, he really wants to start homeschooling with us, so I am going to begin phasing in some “table lernin” (his word for work done at a desk/table) for him to do on Fridays, which will give me another way to keep him occupied.

Our big challenge will be next year, when Tank isn’t re-enrolled in preschool and is preschooling at home. I’ll probably have to rotate their work (and play) stations around several times each day to keep Tank interested and out of Captain Science’s hair. I’ll try answering this question again next year and see what I’ve learned!

That’s how the [Smrt] Homeschooler entertains her smalls!

Do you have a question for the [Smrt] Homeschooler? Email them to
smrtmama@smrtlernins.com