Smrt Lernins

You know how some wealthy people have those special rooms in their houses in the event of a home invasion or assault, that go into a full lock-down mode with a line out to contact the police? I need something like that to protect me from reading other people’s plans for next year, because I have a rising sense of panic that is possibly on par* with what I would experience in the event of a break-in.

I wish I were capable of preparing my ‘10-’11 curricula that far in advance. It’s not that I’m not capable of making the plans, but I just can’t afford to buy that much curricula that far ahead of time. I can’t buy dozens of supplemental history books, get my language arts stuff two or three levels out, or an extra few books ahead in math six months before they’ll be needed. I’m envious of people who can afford to do that, but I’m not one of them. I see people’s lists for next year and I panic, because they have the books and I don’t. I can’t make too detailed of a plan for next year w/o the books, and I don’t have the books yet.

I know what I want Captain Science to be working on next year. It looks like this:

• Grammar Voyage
• Caesar’s English 2
• World of Poetry
• Essay Voyage
• Practice Voyage
• Complete Life of Fred: Beginning Algebra and Fred’s Home Companion: Beginning Algebra (will begin this semester, work over summer) Life of Fred: Advanced Algebra and Fred’s Home Companion: Advanced Algebra
• Ancient Asian, African, and American history using History: The Definitive Visual Guide**, The Complete Illustrated History of the Aztec & Maya**, Eyewitness: Ancient China**, and more, transitioning into medieval/renaissance history at the end of the year (I have a ton of resources for that, at least)
• Begin Japanese language (probably w/ tutor and whatever books s/he recommends)
• Begin Lively Latin (we put off starting Latin this year)
• Some type of art class and an art appreciation study
• Continue with piano and keyboard

It looks like a great plan and all, but I don’t have most of that stuff yet.  It’s not like we’re taking the summer off from homeschooling, either — we’re doing several subjects over the summer, plus a co-op’d unit study through Pennies for Peace – so while I will be buying books and working on lesson plans over the summer, it won’t ever be something to which I can devote my full attention (like it was the summer before our first year of homeschooling). This wasn’t something I had counted on, the feeling of always being a step behind where I should be. The lazy pre-homeschooling summer and hand-me-down curricula gave me a false sense of the ease and affordability of preparing for a school year. Of course, we’ve bought many, many books since then, so I’m not a total newb, but having to get it all together at once? Having to prepare for the next year while still working on the current year? Never getting a summer totally “off”? Can you blame me for panicking.

It’s a true blue Earnest Mom moment here, folks. I feel like I’m not doing it right and none of Patchfire’s protestations that she’s only getting ready for next year this early because they’re probably moving will convince me that I’m not behind. When you think of me, just picture Jodie Foster.

*I have an anxiety disorder, so I spike a comparably high level of panic over a wide range of things, regardless of whether or not the situation actually warrants it.
**I already have these books, thank goodness!