Comments on: “Ask a [Smrt] Homeschooler” about government oversight

By: Smrt Mama

Smrt Mama — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 03:58:49 +0000

The Mama and I once had a conversation about a family I saw in a Culver's in Michigan. Dad, Mom, 8 or so kids all looking a 10-18 months a part -- everyone perfectly pressed and dressed, children absolutely angelic. I overheard Dad discussing Titus 2 with another family. When the family left, the children stood up and go in line by height. I told The Mama about it and she said, "Yes, they act that way because they're probably beaten if they don't."

By: Daisy

Daisy — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 02:23:36 +0000

I agree. Just wonder how they’d do that effectively. Guess I don’t believe CPS is all that effective either. BTDT when I was a kid. Anyway, sorry I’m monopolizing your blog comments. I’d love to nail every bastard who stands in church shaking hands and smiling all while his children know what is coming later.

By: Smrt Mama

Smrt Mama — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 02:06:27 +0000

Churches are incapable of regulating themselves. I think that’s been proven time and time again.

Corporal punishment in the form of spanking w/ a hand may be normal, but whipping a child with a flexible pipe is NOT normal. States have standards for what is and isn’t abuse. If a church leader or church class is teaching things in violations of the state’s standards for CPS involvement, I think that church needs to be investigated by CPS and possibly have its tax-exempt status revoked.

By: Daisy

Daisy — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 02:01:53 +0000

Yeah, I hear you, but how do you regulate it? The best thing would be for churches to wake up and regulate themselves instead of hiding it. That sounds familiar though (eyes rolling).

I don’t know. It does get crazy. Abusers know how to avoid the system and frankly the church is a great place to hide.

1. Natural distrust of government interference.
2. Plenty of folks who avoid “secular” anything (from sports teams to schools to counselors). The children don’t even get the opportunity to find help outside the world of the church.
3. Natural tendency to assume an abuser just needs God to work in their life and He’ll change them.
4. Corporal punishment is the NORM.
5. Male centric.
6. Reluctance to expose someone else’s “private sin.”
7. Children, women, men taught that higher education is BAD.
8. Families taught that stress in their life is due to God’s punishment or their own sin. (not doctrinal correct but taught in some churches).
9. Families taught that church leadership is put in place by God and not to be questioned.

Geez, I could go on, but you get the point. I just don’t know how you would regulate it without crossing over the freedom of religion line. I’m open to dialogue about it though.

By: Smrt Mama

Smrt Mama — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 01:28:27 +0000

See, I think if abuse is happening on a systemic level, the government does need to get involved with the church, just like they’d need to get involved if it were happening systemically in a prison, school, national organization, etc. If a group or organization is a training ground for child abusers, I don’t care if it’s a house of God or a house of pancakes.

By: Daisy

Daisy — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 01:22:01 +0000

I do think this is a church issue. Not sure I’d advocate outside regulation of churches any more than I would advocate outside regulation of homeschoolers, but something absolutely MUST change. (I can’t say that strongly enough). There is absolutely a culture within the church community to keep abuse quiet (if the Catholic abuse fiasco wasn’t proof enough of that).

When hubby & I knew a child in our Sunday school class was being beaten by her mother, we were told by the church hierarchy that “they” would deal with it by counseling the parents in house. (No thanks, hubby as a mandated reporter, reported it anyway). Heck, my own Dad (a minister) was hauled before his denominational hierarchy and given a slap on the wrist for his behavior. The theory being that his recruiting people into the kingdom of heaven was more important then whether or not he was abusing his daughters.

The expectation is that Christians don’t have “problems”. Members are afraid to tell their pastors they are struggling, afraid to seek out counseling for fear of being ostracized. Families desperately in need of help just told that if they better follow the Pearls advice everything will be great.

Sorry, I’m going off, but it hits close to home and makes me sick.

By: Smrt Mama

Smrt Mama — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:31:05 +0000

I still feel pretty awful. Pneumonia is a long road to recovery.

By: Kez

Kez — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:29:34 +0000

It’s nice to see that you are feeling sufficiently better to be blogging

(Oh and I couldn’t agree more)