We think Babypie has rubella. She woke up on Wednesday with slightly rashy cheeks, a runny nose, and a very mild fever, but by lunch time, she had developed a rah over her torso, which started out lacy, but quickly turned to full-coverage. Over the next three days, the red, itchy rash got much worse and began spreading down her arms and finally her legs. We had two trips to the pediatrician, where she had blood work (normal WBC and platelets) and a strep test (negative) and ended up with a vague diagnosis of “viral rash.” Viral rash seems to be the medical term for “I have no idea what I’m looking at, but she’s not dying or anything, and I can’t come up with a solution.”
Because I’m one of those moms (the kind who Googles symptoms), I started doing some research. Now, I’m not a hypochondriac. I am, however, pretty great at accurately diagnosing unusual illnesses. For example, I figured out that the strange circular welts on Captain Science’s back were nummular (discoid) eczema patches, which are quite unusual in a child (they’re common in the elderly, mainly old men) — the pediatrician was impressed and confirmed I was correct. Babypie’s symptoms and her rash are a perfect match for the descriptions and pictures of rubella. I’ve compared her rash to pictures of every other possible type of rash I could think of, from Fifth disease to chicken pox to system thrush to eczema to hives — the only one hers looks like is rubella. It’s also called “three-day measles” because it’s bad for three days and then starts to improve — yesterday, her third day, was miserable, but this morning, she woke up with her rash beginning to fade and feeling much better.
On the third night of her illness, she was rolling around and crying because she itched so badly, and I was holding her and crying because I felt so helpless to make her feel better. Today, my mother said, “Now you understand why, when vaccines were introduced, parents were so eager to immediately start giving them to their children.” I do understand — at 3am, I probably would have given Babypie anything I could have to make her comfortable, without researching or second-guessing, and damn any long term consequences. My motherheart would have overrun my logicmind.
Now, I’m not saying that people vaccinate out of fear or that it’s illogical to vaccinate. I understand why parents would make the choice to vaccinate fully, and I respect that. We are selective vaxxers. Captain Science is almost fully vaccinated, partially due to a prior enrollment in a private school that didn’t allow exemptions. The Tank is on a delayed course, starting at age 2, and has so far had the Hib and the DTaP series. Rubella isn’t one we would have vaccinated against anyway, with the exception of Babypie at puberty if she hadn’t caught it naturally. We’ve based our vaccination choices on research, consultation with our pediatrician, and our children’s reaction to prior vaccines. We’ve been very conscientious about the order in which we give vaccines.
The thing that’s hard about choosing not to vaccinate, though, is having to tell your heart to quiet down when your child is suffering through a potentially preventable illness. The efficacy of preventing that illness may certainly be debatable, a vaccine is no guarantee that your child will not catch the illness, and the immunity from the vaccine may be impermanent or incomplete, or but in theory, you could have prevented the illness and chose not to do so. Some people think that’s a horrible, irresponsible choice, so you have to be prepared for a negative response when people hear your child has chicken pox, rubella, or another vaccine-preventable(ish) disease. Choosing to delay or decline vaccines is so…theoretical. It’s research-based. It’s not based on being IN THE NOW with a sick child. Even if you know the choice was the right one, IN THE NOW you wish you could go back in time and prevent it. Of course, in Babypie’s case, she wouldn’t have been vaccinated against rubella anyway, as she’s only 7.5 months old, but that didn’t really alleviate the worry and guilt at 3am.
Does this have anything to do with homeschooling? Well, there’s the obvious factor of homeschooling being in the home, around illness and other family events. There’s the factor of homeschooling making vaccination a little less relevant — you can continue to educate during illnesses and your child is also less likely to be exposed to them. I also think it’s relevant because both issues are about acting outside the acceptable social norms. Vaccinating your child is a social norm. Sending your child away to school, especially public school, is a social norm. Both are decisions that need to be made, not on a whim and based on a tender motherheart, but through careful research and the use of a logicmind. Plus, “Why we don’t vaccinate against [that disease]” makes a great topic for a discussion about things like science, society, and history.
This is all sort of rambling and odd, but I’ve been up with a rashy, itchy, possibly rubella’d baby for several nights now. Maybe I’m grasping at straws, but something in all of this did feel relevant to me. Maybe you can see it, too? Maybe I’m just seeing spots where there are none.
