Comments on: Secular Thursday: Sex Ed

By: Melanie

Melanie — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:36:06 +0000

That’s exactly how we have done sex ed around here, too. Except now that my kids are getting older (and the whole sex issue seems a lot more pressing), I find I can’t resist mentioning that they wouldn’t have to contend with sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, or shattered hearts if they were to abstain.

Now, when to stick that bowl of condoms under the sink…

By: Julia

Julia — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:34:20 +0000

A book you might like for the little ones is “It’s So Amazing” by Robie Harris. The follow-up book for pre-teens is pretty good too.

Kash, I like your idea of seeing the pictures of STD sores. I don’t want to scare the bejeebus out of them, but a healthy respect for the reality of what could happen is good.

My mom was very open and free with me. She told me from an early age that I should let her know if I need birth control and that if I was a lesbian that was OK with her. I don’t think bisexuals and transgender people were so well known at the time or I’m sure she would have included that in her talks too. I didn’t have sex until I was almost 18 and then I married him. I was actually far more conservative than most of my friends who were told to abstain. I think for myself, knowledge and openness helped me to be comfortable with waiting until I really wanted to instead of rushing into something so I could see what it was all about or so I wouldn’t feel like a weirdo virgin anymore. Also, I did plenty of experimenting without going “all the way”. I think kids should be told that is a safer way to satisfy your desires and that it doesn’t have to end with intercourse.

By: Smrt Mama

Smrt Mama — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:12:43 +0000

What signs will you use to help you determine when to start puberty for her? Emotional readiness? I imagine that could be very scary for a parent, but how empowering for her to have input on that huge of an issue.

By: Mel

Mel — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:47:11 +0000

Awesome post! Since I’ve had 3 at home, with all the older ones there with me, all my kids know about babies and where they come from. None of them have actually asked how the baby gets in there yet, that’ll come soon enough I’m sure. Our approach to puberty is going to be much more clinical with my oldest, since we, with her input, will be deciding when she starts her cycles and what kind of meds she’ll be on. BC for her will also be different, since it will only be for STD protection, no chance of pregnancy

By: Kash

Kash — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:43:49 +0000

Seeing pictures of the sores that result from various STDs was actually a pretty effective deterrent for me. Once I decided I'd take the relative risk, I was still a drill sergeant about condoms. That said, our sex ed was also open about why people DID decide to have sex. It was a pretty balanced approach, one I hope to duplicate. I'm so happy that the woman that wrote Taking Charge of Your Fertility also wrote Cycle Savvy for teenagers. Now if only I could find the male equivalent for FB.