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God vs. Gravity

Posted in Homeschoolins, Lernins On the Go, Secular Lernins, Smrt Mama by Smrt Mama
Sep 28 2009
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Captain Science started back to schoolwork today, hampered somewhat by his cast, but in good spirits. He’s reading some books on Ancient Greece and Greek gods, then we’ll do some grammar. He can use the mouse well enough with his left hand to take a grammar quiz online. Hopefully we’ll have an appointment for the orthopedist soon, but it’s been hard to get someone on the line for a referral. I’ll be sure to let everyone know the surgery/no surgery verdict!

The cast gets a lot of attention. Everyone wants to know what happened and the reaction to hearing that the Captain fell out of a tree is generally, “Are you going to climb trees again?” with a hopeful tone. After all, tree-climbing is one of those parts of childhood that seem to be disappearing.

Because we’ve only encountered this one type of response thus far, we were a little surprised at the reaction we received by a family at the local pick-your-own apple orchard yesterday. They were the stereotypical fundamentalist homeschoolers, a grandmother, mother, and daughter (18-20 by the looks of her). All three were in long, frumpy skirts, “modest” shirts, and the mom and daughter had very long hair. The mother wore the classic denim jumper and a messy bun, clipped w/ a butterfly clip. The daughter had a stringy braid, an ankle length plaid wool skirt, a long-sleeved turtleneck w/ the sleeves rolled up (as it was in the 70s-80s), and a long chain necklace with a cross and what appeared to be one of those “I won’t ever have sex ever ever or even go on a date” rings. They couldn’t have been more obviously fundamentalist if Jesus himself hadn’t flown from the sky carrying a banner that said “FUNDIE!!!”

We were up in the orchards. Officer Daddyman was getting a few more apples for us off the tall trees, since he’s a giant and we aren’t, so the kids and I were sitting under a shady tent. All of the kids decided piling up in my lap would be the way to go, so I had a giant boy, a small boy, and a baby girl sitting on me. Fundie Mom smiled at us and asked Captain Science how he’d broken his arm. He said, “I fell out of a tree!” I explained that he’d been climbing the tree in our yard and had fallen out. Fundie Mom nodded.

“Was he being disobedient?” she asked.

Uh, what? Being disobedient? How is that relevant to a broken arm? Was the implication that I’d pushed him out of the tree for not minding? Or that God had knocked him out to punish him? I made it clear to her that he was allowed to climb the tree and he was a very good boy who minded me well. I was baffled, so I changed the subject to one I figured we both had in common.

“Luckily, we homeschool, so I don’t have to worry about him falling behind,” I said. Her face brightened, and so did her mother’s.

“K-12,” Fundie Mom said, pointing to herself. “I went to 4-year college, too. And my daughter was homeschooled k-12 and just started college.” Then, of course, the natural question. “What curriculum are you using?”

The family was very sweet, other than the weird question about disobedience, and I didn’t want to get into a secular vs. religious homeschooling discussion, so I demurred with, “Oh, we’re mixing and matching.” We all agreed that was the best way to go about it, and I told her I was comforted to see a family where two generations had been homeschooled throughout and gone on to be successful in college. She told me that she’d gone to nursing school, so her college program was “something rigorous…not for something like an English degree.” Ok, so that stung a little bit, but the intent was good, and it really was reassuring to see college-educated homeschoolers (and also reassuring to see college-educated fundamentalist women)!

When I got home, I had to immediately ask another homeschooling friend (we’ll call her Snowbird) what the question about disobedience might have meant. Snowbird, whose religion is certainly one most people would consider fundamentalist, has the virtue of also being an exceptionally bright and reasonable woman. I jokingly refer to her as the “fundie translator,” who can make sense out of something that is completely beyond my understanding.

Snowbird said, regarding the disobedience question, that Fundie Mom was probably making an assumption that “a reasonable parent wouldn’t let their kid in a tall tree” and hence, he must have been disobeying — she says that it’s more of a Baptist/Pentecostal fundie idea, but there is an idea out there that if children obey their parents completely, God will protect them, so that if they get hurt, it must have been because they were being disobedient. Such a weird notion. She also said that, had I also been of that particular religious bent, that I would have likely spanked him for being in the tree, regardless of the broken arm, because the arm was just a consequence and he still needed a punishment. I must say, the mind reels. Still, I’m so very glad that not all fundamentalist believers are like that — Snowbird is proof that you can be devout without being INSANE or violent (she’s also proof that you can be devout without teaching your kids young earth creationism or other crazy Christian non-science. Have I mentioned I adore her?).

Anyway, it wasn’t God, but a fright followed by gravity, that knocked Captain Science from the tree. It did lead to this interesting learning experience for me, though I’d probably take the unbroken arm and no learning experience, given my druthers.

Tagged as: homeschool
Comments
  • Laura:

    Interesting theory. Maddie’s downright defiant and all her bones are intact thus far (I just knocked on wood). God is slacking.

    Reply September 28, 2009 at 2:27 PM
  • Laura:

    I should add, I’m glad he’s slacking. I don’t mind my free-thinking child and I prefer her bones intact. You know, in case he’s listening.

    Reply September 28, 2009 at 2:28 PM
  • Heather:

    What? I’m still shocked you hadn’t poked him out of the tree just to teach him basic physics.

    Reply September 28, 2009 at 3:36 PM
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